Subject: Activities » Sleep (Page 2)

I asked my wife, “last night, were you faking it?” She said, “No, I was really sleeping.”

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Activities Sex Sleep

Snoring: Sheet music.

Definitions Sleep Wordplay

I’m not a very good sleeper, but you know what? I’m willing to put in a few extra hours every day to get better. That’s just the kind of hard worker I am.

(1982 – ) American author
Activities Sleep

There is no sunrise so beautiful that it is worth waking me up to see it.

(1979 – ) American actress, comedian & writer
Activities Sleep

Sleep is the best of both worlds: you get to be alive and unconscious.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Situations Sleep

Last night I fell asleep in a satellite dish… my dreams were broadcast all over the world.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Situations Sleep World

Follow seven beers with a couple of scotches and a thimble of good marijuana, and it's funny how sleep just sort of comes on its own.

(1921 – 2001) Welsh comedian & singer
Activities Alcohol Beer Drugs Sleep

The one who snores will fall asleep first.

Murphy’s Laws Proverbs Sleep

You know you are getting older when “Happy Hour” is a nap.

Activities Age Old Sleep

I remember when I swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills… my doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Alcohol Health Situations Sleep

I don’t know if you’ve ever fallen asleep whilst eating a plate of cauliflower, and then woken up, and thought you were in the clouds.

(1964 – ) English comedian
Activities Situations Sleep

Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.

Murphy’s Laws Situations Sleep

He slept more than any other president… Nero fiddled, but Coolidge only snored.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Government Situations Sleep

The amount of sleep needed by the average person is five minutes more.

typographer
Activities Situations Sleep Time

I haven’t been to sleep for over a year; that’s why I go to bed early… one needs more rest if one doesn’t sleep.

(1903 – 1966) English writer
Activities Sleep

There are two types of people in this world, good and bad; the good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
People Situations Sleep

When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, "Did you sleep good?" and I said, "No, I made a few mistakes."

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Mistakes Situations Sleep

I haven’t slept for ten days… because that would be too long.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Situations Sleep Time

Life is something you do when you can’t get to sleep.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Life Situations Sleep

Sometimes in the middle of the night, I think of something that's funny, then I go get a pen and I write it down… or if the pen's too far away, I have to convince myself that what I thought of ain't funny.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Emotions Situations Sleep

I bought a new pair of pajamas with pockets, which is great, cause now i don’t have to hold things when I sleep.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Clothing Situations Sleep Things