Subject: Age » Old (Page 3)

You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Age Health Old Science/Weather

At eighty-eight how do you feel when getting up in the morning? … Amazed!

(1881 – 1973) German economist
Age Old

Despite his infirmities, Strom Thurmond showed up to work every day and did not miss a Senate vote in his final year, though no one is sure if a shouted "Bingo!" counted as a yea or a nay.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Age Government Insults Old

Good taste is the worst vice ever invented.

(1887 – 1964) English biographer, critic, novelist & poet
Characteristics Old Opinion

Age is something that doesn't matter, unless you are a cheese.

(1884 – 1970) American actress
Age Old

We grow too soon old and too late smart.

Age Old Proverbs Wisdom

What's the advantage of having a kid at 49?… you can both be in diapers at the same time?

stand-up comedian
Age Children Old

As I understand President Bush's Medicare plan, it provides for unlimited coverage for anyone over 72 whose parents can pass the physical.

(1932 – ) American political satirist & comedian
Age Government Health Old

At my age flowers scare me.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Age Emotions Fear Old

By the time a man finds greener pastures, he’s too old to climb the fence.

Age Old Situations

Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined as a person who remembers when there was no Velcro.

Age Intelligence Old Young

The older I get, the better I used to be.

(1942 – ) American professional golfer
Age Golf Old Sports

You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Age Old

You still chase women, but only downhill.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Dating Old

She is such a good friend that she would throw all her acquaintances into the water for the pleasure of fishing them out again.

(1754 – 1838) French prime minister & diplomat
Friends Old People

Old ladies in wheelchairs with blankets over their legs, I don’t think so… retired mermaids.

(1964 – ) English comedian
Age Old People Women

There are younger Aztec ruins.

sportswriter & newspaper columnist
Age Baseball Old Sports

We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Activities Age Old

You Are Old: Sobering Affirmations for Your Rapidly Disappearing Life

Age Book Titles Old

I’m at the stage of life when if a girl says no to me, I’m profoundly grateful to her.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Age Old Sex

My grandad has a chair in his shower which makes him feel old, so in order to feel young he sits on it backwards like a cool teacher giving an assembly about drugs.

(1991 – ) English stand-up comedian
Age Family Old