Subject: Age (Page 2)

The trick is growing up without growing old.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Age Life Old

Puberty is a phase… fifteen years of rejection is a lifestyle.

stand-up comedian
Age Life

Old Age: When you don’t recognize either the host or the musical guest on Saturday Night Live.

Age Definitions

My boyfriend and I are both in our late 20s; he’s 29, I’m 34.

(1980 – ) Australian comedian
Age People Self

A study says owning a dog makes you 10 years younger; my first thought was to rescue two more, but I don’t want to go through menopause again.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Age Dogs Old

Money can’t buy friends, but it can get you a better class of enemy.

(1918 – 2002) Irish comedian, writer, musician, poet & playwright
Friends Money People Young

I was always taught to respect my elders and I've now reached the age when I don't have anybody to respect.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Age Old People

After the age of 80, you seem to be having breakfast every day.

(1907 – 2005) was an English poet & playwright
Age Old

Golden Years My Ass: Adventures in Geriatric Indignity

Age Book Titles Old

Fiber: Edible wood-pulp said to aid digestion and prolong life, so that we might enjoy another six or eight years in which to consume wood-pulp.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Age Definitions Food/Drink Health Old

Middle age is when you stop criticizing the older generation and start criticizing the younger one.

(1919 – 1990) educator & writer
Age Definitions

By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.

(1948 – ) comedian, actor, writer, producer & film director
Age Old

Adolescents: People who never seem to realize that one day they will be as dumb as their parents.

Age Definitions

Sometimes I feel that I’m not just aging… I’m decomposing.

(1949 – ) American federal judge
Age Old

I can tell I’m getting old because my Kindle is turning into a self-help library.

(1982 – ) American actress, stand-up comedian & writer
Age Books Old Reading/Writing

After 60, all of us belong to the weaker sex.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Age Old

A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success!

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Failure Friends Old People Success

We were a generation born too late to eat goldfish and too early to flash.

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist
Age Life

My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty, and that’s the law.

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor
Age Family Old Parents Places

[Memorial services are the] cocktail parties of the geriatric set.

(1902 – 1983) English actor
Age Death Entertainment

Your best friends are those who speak well of you behind your back.

(1920 – 2001) American writer & humorist
Age Friends People