Subject: Age (Page 3)

Regarding my family, I’m the youngest of three; my parents are both older.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Age Family Relationships

Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking in a week or two he will feel as good as ever.

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author
Age Health

My son is 21… he’ll be 22 if I let him.

(1906 – 1998) English-born American comedian
Age Children Family

The reason old men use Viagra is not that they are impotent. It’s that old women are so very ugly.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Age Old Sex

Nothing makes a smoker happier than to see an old person smoking.

(1961 – 1994) comedian
Activities Age Happiness Health Old

I'd go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Age Dating Old People Relationships Women

You know you’re getting older when you don’t care where your wife goes, just so you don’t have to go along

Age Marriage Old Wives

We spend the first twelve months of our children’s lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Age Children Family Speech Young

Younger and younger, our children are seeing the sippy-cup as half empty.

(1970 – ) American stand-up comedian & voice actor
Age Children Emotions Family

Adolescence is the time in life when a youngster is well informed about anything he doesn’t have to study.

Age Education

I don't need drugs anymore, thank God; I can get the same effect just by standing up real fast.

(1946 – ) American comedian, actor & voice actor
Age Drugs Old

Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Age Old

Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and you choosing the one that’ll get you home earlier.

American comedian & juggler
Age

I’m 50 years of old.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Age Misspokements TV/Movie Quotes

Well Kerry, you’re 19 and you’re a lot older than a lot of people younger than yourself.

English football player
Age Colemanballs

Women your age are more likely to be mauled at the zoo than get married.

(1958 – ) American actor & producer
Age Marriage TV/Movie Quotes

Biologically, I'm 10; chronologically, I'm 33, but in hockey years, I'm 66.


Age Hockey Sports

The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Age Old

He's so old that when he orders a three-minute egg, they ask for the money up front.

(1908 – 2002) comedian, radio & television actor
Age Food/Drink Money Old

My mother used to say: the older you get, the better you get… unless you’re a banana.

1922) American actress, comedian & television personality
Age Old TV/Movie Quotes

When I was a kid, I went to the store and asked the guy, "Do you have any toy train schedules?"

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Age Young