Subject: Appearance » Clothing (Page 6)

Clothes and manners do not make the man; but, when he is made, they greatly improve his appearance.

(1813 – 1887) American clergyman, social reformer & abolitionist

There is nothing so unbecoming on the beach as a wet kilt.

Bernadette: Yeah, it’s your third date, maybe you could go more sexy.
Amy: Well, some people think the sexiest organ is the brain.
Penny: No one ever bought me drinks at a bar because my brain just popped out of my shirt.

(1985 – ) American actress

If it says “one size fits all,” it doesn’t fit anyone.

I think one reason they cal them Relaxed Fit jeans is that Ass the Size of Texas jeans would not sell very well.

I think vests are all about protection; like a life vest protects you from drowning and bulletproof vests protect you from getting shot and the sweater vest protects you from pretty girls.

(1973 – ) American comedian

Sometimes I fall asleep at night with my clothes on; I’m going to have all my clothes made out of blankets.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian

High heels were invented by a woman who had been kissed on the forehead.

(1890 – 1957) author & journalist

If that dress had pockets, you’d look like a pool table.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

The last time a straight man worked in the fashion industry, we got a fanny pack.

(1975 – ) American stand-up comedian, television host, actress, & author

The only really firm rule of taste about cross dressing is that neither sex should ever wear anything they haven’t yet figured out how to go to the bathroom in.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist

Who picks your clothes – Stevie Wonder?

(1926 – 2017) American stand-up comedian & actor

There were times my pants were so thin I could sit on a dime and tell if it was heads or tails.

(1900 – 1967) American film actor

You can say what you like about long dresses, but they cover a multitude of shins.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol

This shirt is “dry-clean only”… which means it’s dirty.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian

I went into a clothing store, and the lady asked me what size I was, I said, 'Actual' … I'm not to scale.

(1973 – ) American comedian

You might be a redneck if… you've ever worn a tube-top to a funeral home.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

Why does everything you wear look like it’s bearing a grudge, darling?

(1958 – ) English comedian, screenwriter & actress

A woman's dress should be like a barbed-wire fence: serving its purpose without obstructing the view.

(1934 – ) Italian actress

Hamper: A wicker container with a lid, usually surrounded by, but not containing, dirty clothing.

Women’s styles may change, but their designs remain the same.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet