Subject: Characteristics (Page 6)

If an ass goes a-traveling, he'll not come home a horse.

Laziness: The habit of resting before you get tired.

The search for someone to blame is always successful.

businessman

Trust everybody, but cut the cards.

If it looks easy, it's tough… if it looks tough, it's near impossible.

Men have as exaggerated an idea of their rights as women have of their wrongs.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor

The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling.

(1959 – ) American comedian

Power corrupts; absolute power is kind of neat.

(1942 – ) American investment banker, writer & Secretary of the Navy

The greatest of faults, I should say, is to be conscious of none.

(1795 – 1881) Scottish philosopher, writer, historian & teacher

How long is it polite to pretend to continue to listen to someone after they’ve revealed they’ve got a boyfriend?

(1975 – ) English comedian, actor & writer

She's generous to a fault… if it's her own.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist

If he fell into a pile of horse shit, he’d start looking for a pony.

Chastity is no more a virtue than malnutrition.

(1920 – 2000) physician, gerontologist, pacifist, anarchist & writer

If Jesus was a Jew, how come he has a Mexican first name?

(1942 – ) Scottish comedian, musician & actor

Those who are easily shocked should be shocked more often.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol

I have a lot of growing up to do; I realized that the other day inside my fort.

(1969 – ) comedian & actor

A man will do more for his stubbornness than for his religion or his country.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor

Many a live wire would be a dead one except for his connections.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter

It only takes a room of Americans for the English and Australians to realize how much we have in common.

(1957 – ) English actor, writer, journalist, comedian & film director

A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

I'm compulsive, but I'm also very indecisive; I don't know what I want, but I know that I want it now.

(1971 – ) Irish comedian, actor & writer