Subject: Communication (Page 21)

Loquacity: A disorder which renders the sufferer unable to curb his tongue when you wish to talk.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Conversation Definitions Language Speech

A full tongue and an empty brain are seldom parted.

(1592 – 1644) English writer
Communication Fools Intelligence Speech

Medical Insurance: What allows people to be ill at ease.

Wordplay

When you win, say nothing; when you lose, say less.

professional football coach
Communication Speech Sports

A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar: the barman says, “Is this some kind of joke?”

(1973 – ) English comedian, writer, actor, director & producer
Communication

The first sentence that I was taught to say by my parents as a little boy was: “Of course I know that I’m wrong.”

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Communication People Self Speech

My piñata costume was a hit with the crowd

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Wordplay

Is there another word for synonym?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Communication Language

A toastmaster is a man who eats a meal he doesn’t want so he can get up and tell a lot of stories he doesn’t remember to people who’ve already heard them.

(1898 – 1981) actor, singer, songwriter & movie producer
Communication Occupations People Work

My girlfriend’s dog died, so to cheer her up I went out and got her an identical one: She was livid… “What am I going to do with two dead dogs?”

(1973 – ) English writer & stand-up comedian
Animals Dogs Wordplay

Do Roman paramedics refer to IV’s as ‘4’s’?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Wordplay

A best seller was a book which somehow sold well simply because it was selling well.

(1914 – ) historian
Books Communication Reading/Writing Success

Never position a rock near a hard place.

(1962 – ) English writer
Communication Situations Wordplay

“I need to talk to you” is the one sentence that has the power to make you remember every bad thing you’ve ever done in your life.

(1979 – ) American stand-up comedian & author
Communication Relationships

The English language was carefully, carefully cobbled together by three blind dudes and a German dictionary.

web cartoonist (Sheldon)
Communication Language

I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of William Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.

Communication Reading/Writing

There's a statue of Jimmy Stewart in the Hollywood Wax Museum, and the statue talks better than he does.

(1917 – 1995) singer, actor & comedian
Communication Speech

Writer, William Faulkner about Ernest Hemingway: He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.

Hemingway: Poor Faulkner, Does he really think big emotions come from big words?

(1899 – 1961) author & journalist
Communication Insults Reading/Writing

Parents: People who bear infants, bore teenagers, and board newlyweds.

Definitions Family Parents Wordplay

Greeting Cards: When you care enough to send the very best but not enough to actually write something.


Communication Reading/Writing

Nothing stinks like a pile of unpublished writing.

(1932 – 1963) novelist & poet
Communication Reading/Writing Reviews/Criticism