Subject: Communication (Page 75)

It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.

(1906 – 1992) American computer programmer & inventor of COBOL
Characteristics Communication

Ordering a man to write a poem is like commanding a pregnant woman to give birth to a red-headed child.

Carl Sandburg (1878 – 1967) biographer & poet
Communication Men People Reading/Writing Women

If Lincoln were alive today, he’d roll over in his grave.

(1913 – 2006) 36th U.S. president
Communication Misspokements Speech

A word to the wise is not sufficient if it doesn't make sense.

(1894 – 1961) author, cartoonist & humorist
Communication Intelligence Wisdom

What happened to the first 6 “ups?”

Communication Food/Drink Language

I like maxims that don’t encourage behavior modification.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)
Communication

I’ve got seven kids, the three words you hear most around my house are: Hello, goodbye, and I’m pregnant.

(1917 – 1995) singer, actor & comedian
Children Communication Family Speech

A million monkeys were given a million typewriters… it’s called the Internet.

(1967 – ) English comedian
Communication Things

How is it possible to have a civil war?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Conflict War Wordplay

It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence to never practice either of them.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
America Communication Language Places Speech

As through this world I've wandered I've seen lots of funny men; some will rob you with a six-gun, and some with a fountain pen.

(1912 – 1967) American singer-songwriter & folk musician
Communication Conflict Crime Reading/Writing

The person who writes for fools is always sure of a large audience.

(1788 – 1860) German philosopher
Communication Reading/Writing

One of the greatest creations of the human mind is the art of reviewing books without having read them.

(1742 – 1799) German writer
Books Communication Reading/Writing

It's hard to be funny when you have to be clean.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Communication

I hope God speaks English; if I get up to heaven and have to point at a menu, I'm gonna be pissed.

(1975 – ) American stand-up comedian & television host
Beliefs Communication Eating God Language

Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.

Communication Language Wordplay

The speaker with the most monotonous voice speaks after the big meal.

Communication Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws Speech

People will believe anything if you whisper it.

Beliefs Communication Murphy’s Laws

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Anger Characteristics Communication Speech

I talk a lot about women in my act, 'cause let's face it – if I was hungry, I would talk about food.

American actor & comedian
Food/Drink Sex Speech Women

Men get laid, but women get screwed.

(1908 – 1999) English writer
Language Men People Sex Women