Subject: Communication (Page 75)

Greeting Cards: When you care enough to send the very best but not enough to actually write something.


Communication Reading/Writing

Among my most prized possessions are words that I have never spoken.


Communication Speech

One nice thing about telling a clean joke is there’s a good chance no one’s heard it before.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Communication Entertainment

I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together; it was riveting.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Language

The intelligence of any discussion diminishes with the square of the number of participants.

Communication Conversation Intelligence Murphy’s Laws People Speech

Too often the strong silent man is silent because he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong only because he has remained silent.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Characteristics Communication Insults Speech

Marriage: The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Marriage

My one claim to originality among Irishmen is that I never made a speech.

(1852 – 1933) Irish writer, poet, art critic & dramatist
Communication Places Speech

It was so quiet, you could hear a pun drop.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Communication Language

I'm still an atheist, thank God.

(1900 – 1983) Spanish filmmaker
Beliefs Religion Wordplay

Why do they call that funny little statue a bust when it stops right before the part of the body that it’s named after?

(1946 – ) American comedian
Art Communication Wordplay

I used to go to the driving range to practice driving without slicing; now I go to the driving range to practice slicing without swearing.

(1941 – ) poet, author, editor & anthologist
Communication Golf Speech Sports

Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.

(1918 – 2002) Irish comedian, writer, musician, poet & playwright
Sex Wordplay

I believe that people would be alive today if there were a death penalty.

(1921 – ) former First Lady of the United States & actress
Communication Misspokements Speech

If a parsley farmer loses a law suit, do they garnish his wages?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Wordplay

My boss told me to get my butt in gear… I told him I was shiftless.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comic
Communication Language Work

Spontaneous speeches are seldom worth the paper they are written on.

(1891 – 1957) English comedian, actor, producer & film director
Communication Speech

We have a criminal jury system which is superior to any in the world; and its efficiency is only marred by the difficulty of finding twelve men every day who don’t know anything and can’t read.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Communication Government Intelligence People Reading/Writing

If something is 1.0, you don't need to say, 'point oh.'

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Communication Language

If you want your name spelled wrong, die.

Communication Death Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

Politics makes estranged bedfellows.

(Aiskowitz) (1899 – 1982) humorist
Government Language Politics