Subject: Communication » Wordplay (Page 7)

Matrimony: The splice of life.

Definitions Marriage Wordplay

Never position a rock near a hard place.

(1962 – ) English writer
Communication Situations Wordplay

Archaeologist: A person whose career lies in ruins.

Definitions Occupations Wordplay

I went to a Pretenders gig; it was a tribute act.

(1967 – ) English actor, writer & comedian
Communication Wordplay

Quadruplets: Four crying out loud.

Children Definitions Wordplay

The penis mightier than the sword.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Communication Wordplay

I once knew a woman who offered her honor, so I honored her offer, and all night long I was on her and off her.

Sex Wordplay

Time and tide and hookers wait for no man.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Wordplay

There was a young man from Peru

Whose limericks stopped at line two.

Communication Wordplay

Coffee: Break fluid.

Definitions Food/Drink Wordplay

I believe in the right to arm bears.

(1927 – 1997) Am. comedian & satirist notable for mock presidential campaign
Beliefs Opinion Wordplay

Urinalysis: The study of pissed off people.

Definitions Health Wordplay

I caught my wife in bed with another man and I was crushed… so I said, “Get off of me, you two!”

(1956 – ) American comedian
Communication Wordplay

Paradox: Two physicians.

Definitions Doctors Wordplay

Why is it, when a door is open it’s ajar, but when a jar is open, it’s not a door?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Wordplay

I was a lighting technician, off and on.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Wordplay

I ran a sculpting studio, until it went bust.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Wordplay

Dave drowned; so at the funeral we got him a wreath in the shape of a lifebelt; well, it’s what he would have wanted.

(1973 – ) English writer & stand-up comedian
Communication Wordplay

Alarm Clock: Something that makes people rise and whine.

Definitions Wordplay

I’m not worried about the Third World War… that’s the Third World’s problem.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Conflict War Wordplay

Man was predestined to have free will.

Beliefs Wordplay