Subject: Conflict

When I take action, I'm not going to fire a $2 million missile at a $10 empty tent and hit a camel in the butt.

(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president
Conflict Government War

Insider trading: Stealing too fast.

(1935 – ) columnist, journalist & novelist
Conflict Crime Definitions

Crime does not pay… as well as politics.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Conflict Crime Government Politics

You can get a lot more done with a kind word and a gun than with a kind word alone.

(1899 – 1947) American gangster
Arms Characteristics Things

Hockey’s the only place where a guy can go nowadays and watch two white guys fight.


(1938 – 2017) American sportswriter & novelist
Conflict Fights Hockey Sports

I’m really a timid person – I was beaten up by Quakers.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Conflict Fights

I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot.

(1965 – ) comedian, actor, screenwriter, television producer & director
Conflict Places

Woman Charged With Stealing Underwear, Cheese

Crime Headlines

War is God's way of teaching us geography.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Conflict God War

The best ally you can have in breaking up a street fight is a grandmother.

(John Bloom) (1953 – ) American film critic, writer & actor
Conflict Family Fights

I have given two cousins to war and I stand ready to sacrifice my wife’s brother.

Charles Farrar Browne (1834 – 1867) humorist
Conflict Family War

Kleptomaniac: A thief with breeding.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Crime Definitions

Do you ever go into a store and you happen to be carrying something that they sell in that store and then start to get all paranoid that they're going to think that you stole it? … That happened to me recently at the gun store.

(1972 – ) stand-up comedian & writer
Arms Conflict Situations

The time not to become a father is eighteen years before a war.

(1899 – 1985) US author & humorist
Family Fathers Time War

It's possible to disagree with someone about the ethics of non-violence without wanting to kick his face in.

(1946 – ) British playwright, screen writer & film director
Conflict Fights

Never worry about the bullet with your name on it; instead, worry about shrapnel addressed to 'occupant.’

Conflict Government Military Murphy’s Laws War

I can’t listen to that much Wagner… I start getting the urge to conquer Poland.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Conflict Entertainment Music Places War

A liberal is a man too broadminded to take his own side in a quarrel.

(1874 – 1963) American poet
Characteristics Conflict Government Politics

The NRA is not pro-gun, they’re anti-varmint.

(1965 – 2010) American stand-up comedian & television personality
Arms Conflict

A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won’t cross the street to vote in a national election.

(1915 – 1977) columnist, writer & actor
America Democracy Elections/Voting Government Places War World

At their core, women fear that men will kill them; at their core, men fear that women will laugh at them.

(1954 – ) security specialist, advisor & author
Characteristics Emotions Killing Laughter Men People Women