Subject: Death

How could they tell?

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Death Insults

I forgot something.

(1918 – 1967) American founder of the American Nazi Party
Last words

Leave the shower curtain on the inside of the tub.

(1887 – 1979) American businessman & founder of the Hilton Hotels
Last words

Lady, you shot me.

(1931 – 1964) American singer, songwriter & entrepreneur
Last words

So far, I haven’t heard of anybody who wants to stop living on account of the cost.

(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher
Death Life Money

I shall look forward to a pleasant time.

(1737 – 1793) American merchant, statesman & patriot of the Revolution
Last words

How were the receipts today at Madison Square Garden?

(1810 – 1891) American showman, businessman, entertainer & circus founder
Last words

Famous Last Words: “This is easy.”

Death Definitions

The Senate seems like the place where smart people go to die.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Death Government

Now, now, my good man, this is no time for making enemies.

(1694 – 1778) French author, humanist & satirist
Last words

Marriage can be viewed as the waiting room for death.

(1963 – ) Canadian comedian, actor, screenwriter & film producer
Death Marriage

If you eat one apple a day for 80 years, you won't die young.

(1919 – ) American sportswriter
Age Death Food/Drink Health

The way I see life, is like we’re all flying on the Hindenburg… why fight over the window seats?

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
Death Life

Give me immortality or death.

Death Life

Go away. I'm all right.

(1866 – 1946) English author
Last words

I am dying from the treatment of too many physicians.

Alexander III (356 – 323 BC) King of Macedon
Death Doctors Health

Okay, I won’t.

(1935 – 1977) American singer
Last words

Always read something that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Books Communication Death Reading/Writing

Codeine… bourbon…

(1903 – 1968) movie actress
Last words

I'm the kind of guy who will have nothing all my life and then they'll discover oil while they're digging my grave.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Death Life Money Wealth

Oh, what's the bloody point?

(1926 – 1988) English comic actor & comedian
Last words