Subject: Death (Page 12)

Eulogy: Praise that’s too much and too late.

Death Definitions

He always regarded death as highly overrated and could never understand why anybody made such a fuss about it.

(1943 – ) English comedian, writer, television host & actor
Death

I don't feel good.

(1849 – 1926) American botanist & horticulturist
Last words

Ya look like one of those pall buriers at a funeral.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Death Malaprops

I’d rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.

(234 – 149 BC) Roman statesman
Death Epitaphs

Suicide is cheating the doctor out of a job.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Death Doctors Health

Pardon me, sir. I did not do it on purpose.

(1755 – 1793) Archduchess of Austria & the Queen of France
Last words

If I was on death row and given one last meal I would ask for a fortune cookie; “Come on ‘long prosperous life!’”

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Death Food/Drink

There are some similarities, of course [between Iraq and Vietnam] – death is terrible.

(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president
Death Misspokements

Sex and death; two things that come once in a lifetime… only after death, you’re not so nauseous.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Death Sex

Death is a wonderful way of cutting down on your expenses.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Death Money

George W. [Bush] was born on third, but thinks he hit a triple.

(1943 – ) U.S. agriculture commissioner, columnist, activist & author
Death Insults

We all get the same amount of ice. The rich get it in the summer. The poor get it in the winter.

(1853 – 1921) American buffalo hunter, U.S. Marshal, Army scout, gambler, frontier lawman & newspaperman
Last words

I'm out of here, man. I'm gone. Keep me in your hearts.

(? – 2008) American convicted murder
Last words

Nothing more than a change of mind, my dear. I always talk better lying down.

(1751 – 1836) American statesman & politician
Last words

It's very beautiful over there.

(1847 – 1931) American inventor, scientist & businessman
Last words

Do you realize we’re only a heart attack away from Bush being president?

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Death Government President

Cured yesterday of my disease, I died last night of my physician.

(1664 – 1721) English poet & diplomat
Death Doctors Health

Vancouver! Vancouver! This is it! This is…

(1949 – 1980) American volcanologist & government surveyor
Last words

I forgot something.

(1918 – 1967) American founder of the American Nazi Party
Last words

I have had no real gratification or enjoyment of any sort more than my neighbor on the next block who is worth only half a million

(1821 – 1885) American businessman & millionaire
Last words