Subject: Death (Page 19)

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown, too?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author

If I had to live my life again, I’d make the same mistakes, only sooner.

(1903 – 1968) movie actress

Okay, Father. I'll pray that you don't follow me too soon.

(1920 – 1945) only American soldier to be court martialed and executed for desertion during World War II

Serkin was so sick he almost died for three days.

(1899 – 1985) Hungarian-born conductor & violinist

It is my last wish to be buried sitting up.

(1908 – 1989) American actress of film, television & theater

I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to it.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author

I've arranged with my executor to be buried in Chicago, because when I die, I want to still remain active politically.

(1927 – ) Canadian-born American comedian & actor

A dying man enjoys free speech.

(1431 – 1463) French rogue, vagabond, outlaw, bohemian & poet

Now why did I do that?

(1728 – 1795) British Army commander

I did not get my Spaghetti-O's, I got spaghetti. I want the press to know this.

Taylor C. Craig (1960 – 1995) American double-convicted murderer

Proof that we don’t understand death is that we give dead people a pillow.

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor

It must have been the coffee.

(1917 – 1979) Japanese-American actor

Eulogy: Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.

You got me.

(1903 – 1934) American bank robber & convicted murderer

Let us so live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist

That is indeed very good. I shall have to repeat that on the Golden Floor!

(1859 – 1936) English classical scholar & poet

Who is it? Who is it?

(1859 – 1881) American frontier gunman

Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author

Ask her to wait a moment – I am almost done.

(1777 – 1855) German mathematician & scientist

The graveyards are full of indispensable men.

(1890 – 1970) French president, general & statesman

I don't believe that I'm going to be able to speak any longer.

(1881 – 1965) American Major League Baseball executive