Subject: Death (Page 7)

Born in a hotel room, and Goddammit, died in one!

(1888 – 1953) American playwright
Last words

I detest life insurance agents; they always argue that I shall some day die, which is not so.

(1869 – 1944) Canadian economist & humorist
Death

Ya look like one of those pall buriers at a funeral.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Death Malaprops

I want to die like my father, quietly, in his sleep – not screaming and terrified like his passengers.

(1928 – 2003) English entertainer
Death

I'm tired. I'm going back to bed.

(1914 – 1959) American actor best known for his role as Superman
Last words

I want nothing but death.

(1775 – 1817) English novelist
Last words

One never knows the ending. One has to die to know exactly what happens after death… although Catholics have their hopes.

(1899 – 1980) English filmmaker & producer
Last words

It’s hard to be famous and alive.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Death Life

The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Death People Self Sex

I always read the last page of a book first so that if I die before I finish, I will know how it turned out.

(1941 – 2012) American novelist, producer, screenwriter & director
Communication Death Reading/Writing

Immortality – a fate worse than death.


Death Life

An epitaph is a belated advertisement for a line of goods that has been discontinued.

(1876 – 1944) American author, humorist & columnist
Death Epitaphs

I am dying. Please… bring me a toothpick.

(1873 – 1907) French writer
Last words

Live each day as if it were your last… because one day, you’ll be right.

(1924 – 1992) English comedian & actor
Death Life Time

Why not? After all, it belongs to him.

(1889 – 1977) English comedian, actor & film director
Last words

That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Death Places

Go on, get out! Last words are for fools who haven't said enough!

(1818 – 1883) German philosopher, economist, sociologist & socialist
Last words

I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade… and try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.

(1956 – ) American stand-up comedian
Alcohol Death

This is funny.

(1851 – 1887) American gambler, gunfighter & dentist of the American old west
Last words

I'm tired of fighting! I guess this thing is going to get me.

born Erik Weisz (1874 – 1926) Hungarian-born American magician, stunt performer & escape artist
Last words

I have a gold watch he [my father] sold to me on his deathbed; I wrote him a check for it… post-dated of course.

(1919 – 1985) Scottish comedian & actor
Death Family Fathers