Subject: Death (Page 6)

I hope they bury me near a straight man.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Death Emotions

That is indeed very good. I shall have to repeat that on the Golden Floor!

(1859 – 1936) English classical scholar & poet
Last words

My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn’t pay the bill he gave me six months more.

(1920 – 2000) American actor
Death Doctors Health Money

It's a long time since I drank champagne.

(1860 – 1904) Russian short-story writer, playwright & physician
Last words

George W. [Bush] was born on third, but thinks he hit a triple.

(1943 – ) U.S. agriculture commissioner, columnist, activist & author
Death Insults

Reality is the leading cause of stress for those in touch with it.

(1939 – ) comedian, actress, writer & producer
Death

Suicide is man's way of telling God, "You can't fire me – I quit."

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
Beliefs Death God

I don't jog; if I die I want to be sick.

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach
Activities Death

Death: A breath-taking experience.

Death Definitions

I told my girlfriend when I was going to die, because my birth certificate had an expiration date on it.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Death

Don't pull down the blinds. I feel fine. I want the sunlight to greet me!

(1895 – 1926) Italian actor & early pop icon
Last words

It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Death Intelligence

Mozart! Mozart!

(1860 – 1911) Austrian composer
Last words

If your time ain’t come, not even a doctor can kill you.

Death Doctors Health Life Proverbs

Kaputt…

(1892 – 1918) German fighter pilot widely known as the Red Baron
Last words

A candidate could easily commit political suicide if he were to come up with an unconventional thought during a presidential tour.

(1899 – 1985) US author & humorist
Death Government Politicians

Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Activities Death

Our greatest fear is to die alone, which is why I intend to take quite a few people with me.

(1972 – ) Scottish comedian
Death

Take away those pillows. I shall need them no more.

(1832 – 1898) English author, mathematician, logician & photographer
Last words

If you stop eating donuts you will live three years longer; it’s just three more years that you want a donut.

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
Death Food/Drink Life

He always regarded death as highly overrated and could never understand why anybody made such a fuss about it.

(1943 – ) English comedian, writer, television host & actor
Death