Subject: Definitions (Page 16)

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A conservative is a man who is too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.

(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher
Beliefs Definitions People

Nostalgia: How long’s that been around?

(1965 – ) English comedian, musician, actor & author
Definitions History Time

Definition of a classic: a book everyone is assumed to have read and often thinks they have.

English author, actor, humorist & playwright
Books Communication Definitions Reading/Writing

Pain: An uncomfortable frame of mind that may have a physical basis in something that is being done to the body, or may be purely mental, caused by the good fortune of another.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Definitions Intelligence Mind

Death: To stop sinning suddenly.

Death Definitions

Graffiti: Urban scrawl.

Communication Definitions Reading/Writing

Mouth: In man, the gateway to the soul; in woman, the outlet of the heart.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Culture: The visible evidence of a tribe of bacteria, as observed by microbiologists or cynics.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions

Statesman: An ex-politician who has mastered the art of holding his tongue.

Communication Definitions Politicians Speech

Bargain Hunter: One who is often led astray by false profits.

Activities Definitions Shopping

Star: A performer who makes more than his or her agent.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions

Impregnable: A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.

Definitions Sex

Guest towel: A small square of non-absorbent fabric surrounded by waterproof embroidery.

Definitions Things

Strip Teaser: One who makes a bare living.

Body Definitions Occupations

Diplomat: If you have the advantage over someone, and you lead him to think that he has the advantage over you, without giving him the chance to take advantage of you.

Definitions Government

Camp: Where parents spend $1,000 for eight weeks to teach their child to make a 25-cent ash tray.

Definitions

Minister: A travel agent for the straight and narrow.

Definitions

Family Swimming Pool: A small body of water completely surrounded by other people’s children.

Definitions

Atrophy: An award given to those who do not exercise.

Activities Definitions

Acute Alcoholic: An attractive drunk.

Alcohol Definitions

Hot Dog: The only animal that feeds the hand that bites it.

Animals Definitions Food/Drink