Subject: Definitions (Page 20)

View All Definitions

Donuts: The only non-negotiable element to a successful meeting.

Definitions

Inflation: Being broke with a lot of money in your pocket.

Definitions Money

I.T.: Customer Support without the common sense.

Definitions

Prescription: A physician's guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Doctors Health

Monument: A structure intended to commemorate something which either needs no commemoration or cannot be commemorated.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Rhetoric: Language in a dress suit.

Definitions Language

Puritan: A person who pours righteous indignation into the wrong things.

Definitions

Originality: Undetected plagiarism.

Definitions

Counsel: Advice with a price tag.

Definitions

Friends: There are two kinds of friends – those who are around when you need them, and those who are around when they need you.

Definitions Friends People

Diplomat: A person who thinks twice before saying nothing.

Definitions

Diet: A brief period of starvation followed by a gain of five pounds.

Definitions Food/Drink

Marriage ceremony: An incredible metaphysical sham of watching God and the law being dragged into the affairs of your family.

Definitions Marriage

Patience: A minor form of despair, disguised as a virtue.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Communication Definitions Language

Wind: Weather on the go.

Definitions Science/Weather

American Way: Using instant coffee to dawdle away an hour.

Definitions

Parking Space: An unfilled opening in an unending line of cars near an unapproachable fire hydrant.

Definitions

Reformer: One who wants his conscience to be your guide.

Definitions

Epitaph: A monumental lie.

Death Definitions

Chickens: The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.

Animals Definitions Eating Food/Drink

Tailor: An occupation that suits everyone.

Definitions Occupations Work