Subject: Definitions (Page 36)

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Reporter: A writer who guesses his way to the truth and dispels it with a tempest of words.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Occupations People Truth

Consult: To seek another’s approval of a course already decided upon.

Definitions

Pessimist: A person who looks at a doughnut and sees nothing but the hole.

Definitions

Definition: A statement intended to put a word in its place.

Communication Definitions Language

Small Town: A place where nothing happens every minute.

Definitions Places

Jazz Musician: A juggler who uses harmonies instead of oranges.

Definitions Entertainment Music

Average: The poorest of the good and the best of the bad.

Definitions

Alas: Early Victorian for, “Oh, Hell.”

Communication Definitions Language

Assmosis: The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.

Definitions

Friend: Someone who thinks you’re a good egg even though you’re slightly cracked.

Definitions Friends People

Alibi: Slip cover.

Definitions

Sociology: Journalism without news.

Definitions

Self-made Man: A horrible example of unskilled labor.

Definitions

Post Office: U.S. Snail.

Communication Definitions

Good Neighbor: One who makes his noise at the same time you make yours.

Definitions

Intelligent conversationalist: One who nods his head in agreement while you’re talking.

Communication Conversation Definitions Intelligence Speech

Ambassador: An honest man sent to lie abroad for the good of his country.

Definitions

Keyboard: The standard way to generate computer errors.

Computers Definitions Things

Genealogy: Tracing yourself back to people better than you are.

Definitions Family People

Telephone: An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Things

Egotism: Doing the New York Times crossword puzzle with a pen.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Definitions