Subject: Definitions (Page 41)

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Reckless Driver: One who passes you on the highway in spite of all you can do.

Definitions People

Honeymoon Sandwich: Just lettuce alone, with no dressing.

Definitions Marriage

Impregnable: A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.

Definitions Sex

Lawsuit: A contest generally won by the party that can afford to reimburse the lawyers on both sides of the dispute.

Definitions Law Lawyers

Accordion: An instrument whose music is long drawn out.

Definitions Entertainment Music Things

Judge: A lawyer who once knew a politician.

Definitions Government Law

Graduate School: The place where a young scholar goes off his Dad’s payroll – and on to his wife’s.

Definitions Education School

Fashion: A make-work program to get women to buy new clothes for no real reason before the old clothes wear out.

Appearance Clothing Definitions

Manicurist: A girl who makes money hand over fist.

Definitions Occupations Work

Physician: One upon whom we set our hopes when ill and our dogs when well.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Health Language

Prejudice: A great time-saver that enables one to form opinions without bothering to get the facts.

Definitions

Grocery list: What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store.

Activities Definitions Shopping

Miser: One who’s perfectly content to let the rest of the world go buy.

Definitions

Acrobat: The person who turns a flop into a success.

Definitions

Tears: Remorse code.

Definitions Wordplay

Baby: An alimentary canal with a loud voice at one end and no responsibility at the other.

Definitions Family

Parking Space: An unoccupied place on the other side of the street.

Definitions

Y Chromosome: A line of genes designed for men only.

Definitions Men People

Family Planning: Having all your children while their grandparents are still young enough to be babysitters.

Children Definitions Family

Twilight: All the difference between day and night.

Definitions Time

Karate: The ancient Japanese art of getting people to buy lots of belts.

(1978 – ) American stand-up comedian
Definitions