Subject: Definitions (Page 41)

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Chip Shot: A short, low approach shot that gets a player into position for one or more missed puts.

Definitions Golf Sports

Upgraded and Improved: Didn't work the second time.

Definitions Situations Things

Memorial Service: A farewell party for someone who has already left.

Death Definitions

Bureaucrat: A politician who has tenure.

Definitions Government Politicians

Acme: Spots on the top of your head.

Definitions

Marriage: The mourning after the knot before.

Definitions Marriage

Honesty: The fear of being caught.

Characteristics Definitions

Diagnosis: A physician’s forecast of the disease by the patient’s pulse and purse.

Definitions Health

Perfume: Any smell that is used to drown a worse one.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Definitions

Discretion: A sense that comes to a man too late to do him any good.

Definitions

Bargain Hunter: One who is often led astray by false profits.

Activities Definitions Shopping

Imagination: What puts men in asylums unless they are crazy enough to put it down on paper or canvas.

Definitions

Class Reunion: Where everyone gets together to see who is falling apart

Definitions

Idiot: A member of a large and powerful tribe whose influence in human affairs has always been dominant and controlling. 

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Intelligence

Boss: A person who comes early to see who comes late.

Definitions Work

Jealousy: The tribute mediocrity pays to genius.

Characteristics Definitions

Science: An orderly arrangement of what, at the moment, seems to be the facts.

Beliefs Definitions Facts Science/Weather

Exhaustion: Sufficient cause for the hospitalization of a celebrity – the normal state of existence for the rest of the working world.

Definitions

Diamond: A woman’s idea of a stepping stone to success.

Definitions Things

Belly: The veranda over the toy shop.

Appearance Body Definitions

Cold: An ailment cured in two weeks with a doctor’s care, and in fourteen days without it.

Definitions Doctors Health