Subject: Definitions (Page 44)

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Opportunity: A favorable occasion for grasping a disappointment.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions

Dentist: A prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coins out of your pocket.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Money

Gluttony: A sign something is eating us.

Definitions Eating Food/Drink

Wedding Ring: A one-man band.

Definitions Marriage

Harpist: A plucky musician.

Definitions Entertainment Music Wordplay

Television: A means of getting a babysitter so Mom and Dad can get out to the movies.

Definitions Entertainment Television

Smile: To expose a portion of one’s skeleton as a gesture of goodwill toward a fellow human.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions

Frisbeetarianism: The belief that, when you die, your Soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.

Definitions

Middle Age: That period when a man begins to shed his hair, his teeth, and his illusions.

Age Definitions

Black Eye: A stamp of disapproval.

Definitions

Leftovers: Repast history.

Definitions Food/Drink

Desk: A dangerous place from which to view the world.

Definitions

Coward: One who in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Business Forecaster: A person who is uncertain about the future and hazy about the present.

Definitions

Communist: A fellow who will gladly divide his hunger and thirst with you if you’ll divide your beer and salami with him.

Definitions

Death: Life’s way of telling you you’ve been fired.

Death Definitions Life

Luck: The thing that draws us for jury duty, but never for the lottery.

Definitions

Mission Statement: A long, awkward sentence that demonstrates management’s inability to think clearly.

Definitions

Yawn: It’s always dullest just before the yawn.

Definitions Wordplay

Egotist: A person of low taste more interested in himself than in me.

Definitions

Window Dresser: A girl who doesn’t pull down the shades.

Definitions People