Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Definitions
(Page 53)
View All Definitions
Deluxe: Mediocre in a big way.
Anonymous
Definitions
Deluxe
Insanity: Knowing that what you’re doing is completely idiotic, but still, somehow, you just can’t stop it.
Anonymous
Definitions
Insanity
Antique: Something too old to be anything but too expensive.
Anonymous
Definitions
Things
Dictator: A self-madman.
Anonymous
Definitions
Dictator
Slander: To lie, or tell the truth about someone.
Ambrose Bierce
(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics
Communication
Definitions
Slander
Apartment: A place where the landlord and the tenant are both trying to raise the rent.
Anonymous
Definitions
Apartment
Acrimony: The holy state of being married.
Anonymous
Definitions
Marriage
Woman: A creature whom God made beautiful that man might love her, and unreasonable that she might love man.
Anonymous
Definitions
People
Woman
Skeptic: One who won’t take know for an answer.
Anonymous
Definitions
People
Skeptic
Accountability: The mother of caution.
Ambrose Bierce
(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics
Definitions
Accountability
Passport: A document treacherously inflicted upon a citizen going abroad, exposing him as an alien and pointing him out for special reprobation and outrage.
Ambrose Bierce
(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Activities
Definitions
Individuals
Things
Travel
Passport
Old age is when you know all the answers, but nobody asks you the questions.
Dr. Laurence J. Peter
(1919 – 1990) educator & writer
Age
Definitions
Old
Old age
Acme: Spots on the top of your head.
Anonymous
Definitions
Acme
Politeness: The most acceptable hypocrisy.
Ambrose Bierce
(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics
Communication
Definitions
Language
Hypocrisy
Politeness
Prejudice: A great time-saver that enables one to form opinions without bothering to get the facts.
Anonymous
Definitions
Prejudice
Cookie: A standard method for converting sugar, floor, and butter into body fat.
Anonymous
Definitions
Food/Drink
Cookie
Bathing Suit: A garment cut to see level.
Anonymous
Appearance
Clothing
Definitions
Wordplay
Bathing suit
Guilt: The gift that keeps on giving.
Erma Bombeck
(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist
Characteristics
Definitions
Guilt
Plumber: A drain surgeon.
Anonymous
Definitions
Occupations
Plumber
Clergyman: A man who undertakes the management of our spiritual affairs as a method of bettering his temporal ones.
Anonymous
Definitions
Occupations
Clergyman
Diaper: A bum wrap.
Anonymous
Definitions
Diaper
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