Subject: Definitions (Page 65)

View All Definitions

Foosball: A combination of soccer and shish kabobs.

Activities Definitions

Litigant: A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones.

Definitions Law

Fishing: A venerable contest in which modern man pits his intelligence and technology against the native wit of primitive aquatic vertebrates, and generally finishes second.

Activities Definitions

Florists: Petal pushers.

Definitions

Center Of Mass: The Priest.

Definitions

Historian: An editor of yesterday’s news.

Definitions History Occupations Time Work

Respirator: An apparatus fitted over the nose and mouth… whereby to filter the visible universe in its passage to the lungs.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Things

Armor: A knight gown.

Clothing Definitions

Cloud: What’s in front of every silver lining.

Definitions

Efficiency Expert: A man smart enough to tell you how to run your business and too smart to start his own.

Definitions

Wind: Weather on the go.

Definitions Science/Weather

Tact: The ability to arrive at conclusions without expressing them.

Definitions

Honeymoon: The vacation a man takes before starting to work for a new boss.

Definitions Marriage

Intellectual: A guy who can keep his mind on a book at a beach.

Definitions People

X Chromosome: a genetic double-cross that empowers women with the ability to bear children and reserves for men the right to be color-blind hemophiliacs.

Definitions Men People

Bankruptcy: A fate worse than debt.

Definitions Money

Class Reunion: A gathering where you come to the conclusion that most of the people your own age are a lot older than you are.

Age Definitions

Funeral: A pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker, and strengthen our grief by an expenditure that deepens our groans and doubles our tears.

Death Definitions

Ambassador: An honest man sent to lie abroad for the good of his country.

Definitions

Future: That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Future Time

Neighbors: The strangers who live next door.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions People