Subject: Emotions (Page 14)

Never laugh at your significant other when they're having an orgasm; that is their time to shine.

(1983 – ) American comedian
Emotions Laughter Sex

Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock.

(1882 – 1942) American actor
Appearance Body Emotions Love

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Animals Dogs Emotions Love

People who say that money can't buy happiness just don't know where to shop.

(1958 – ) Australian author
Emotions Happiness Money People Shopping

Complaining is good for you as long as you're not complaining to the person you're complaining about.

(1947 – ) Canadian cartoonist (For Better or For Worse)
Characteristics Emotions

I loathe people who keep dogs; they are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves.

(1849 – 1912) Swedish writer
Animals Dogs Emotions

A man can be happy with any woman as long as he does not love her.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Emotions Happiness Love Men Women

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Alcohol Beer Emotions Food/Drink God Happiness

Saving love doesn't bring any interest.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Emotions Love Money

Happiness is your dentist telling you it won’t hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill.

(1925 – 2005) television host
Emotions Happiness Health

Always make the audience suffer as much as possible.

(1899 – 1980) English filmmaker & producer
Emotions Entertainment Film

After 12 years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes… he said, "No hablo Ingles."

comedian
Emotions

I used to be afraid of relationships; someone would ask me out and I'd say, 'Just take my purse, don't hurt me!'

(1970 – ) American stand-up comedian & voice actor
Dating Fear Relationships

Jealousy and love are sisters.

Emotions Love Proverbs

I only like two kinds of men; domestic and foreign.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Emotions Men People Places

There is no reciprocity; men love women, women love children, children love hamsters.

Anna Haycraft (1932 – 2005) English writer & essayist
Children Emotions Love Men Women

As my mother always says, “If you have to swear to get laughs, then you’re obviously a c**t.”

(1972 – ) Irish stand-up comedian, voice over artist & actor
Communication Emotions Laughter Speech

I’m a sensitive guy; I held a baby the other day and it was the first time either of us cried.

(1949 – 2016) American comedian & television actor
Children Emotions

It is better to have loved and lost than never to have lost at all.

(1835 – 1902) English composer, author & satirist
Emotions Love

Men always want to be a woman's first love; women like to be a man's last romance.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Emotions Love Men Women

Happiness is… finding two olives in your martini when you’re hungry.

(1925 – 2005) television host
Emotions Happiness