Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Emotions
(Page 6)
My grandfather used to make home movies and edit out the joy.
Richard Lewis
(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Emotions
Happiness
Depression
Home movies
Joy
God writes a lot of comedy… the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.
Garrison Keillor
(1942 – ) humorist & radio broadcaster
Emotions
Entertainment
God
Actors
Comedy
A person who knows how to laugh at himself will never ceased to be amused.
Shirley MacLaine
(1934 – ) American actress, dancer, activist & author
Emotions
Laughter
People
Self
All happiness depends on a leisurely breakfast.
John Gunther
(1901 – 1970) American journalist & author
Eating
Emotions
Food/Drink
Happiness
Breakfast
I've never really thought of myself as depressed so much as I am paralyzed by hope.
Maria Bamford
(1970 – ) American stand-up comedian & voice actor
Emotions
Depression
Hope
A sense of humor is what makes you laugh at something that would make you sore if it happened to you!
Alfred E. Neuman
fictional mascot and cover boy of
Mad
, an American humor magazine
Emotions
Laughter
Sense of humor
If you’ve never been hated by your child, you’ve never been a parent.
Bette Davis
(1908 – 1989) American actress of film, television & theater
Children
Emotions
Family
Parents
Hatred
If humor was the foundation of my life, men were definitely the first floor.
Gilda Radner
(1946 – 1989) comedian & actress
Emotions
Life
Men
People
Humor
Sense Of Humor: Being able to laugh at your friends’ misfortunes.
Anonymous
Definitions
Emotions
Sense of humor
In real love you want the other person's good; in romantic love, you want the other person.
Margaret Caroline Anderson
(1886 – 1973) American writer
Emotions
Love
Sex
Nothing spoils the taste of peanut butter like unrequited love.
Charlie Brown
cartoon character,
Peanuts
, Charles Schulz (1922 – 2000) cartoonist
Emotions
Love
Unrequited love
If you can eat anything you want to, what’s the fun in eating anything you want to?
Tom Hanks
(1956 – ) American movie actor
Eating
Emotions
Food/Drink
Happiness
Fun
If you can’t help out with a little money, at least give a sympathetic groan.
Jewish saying
Emotions
Sympathy
Dealing with joy sometimes is more difficult than overcoming adversity if you enjoy self-loathng as a hobby.
Richard Lewis
(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Emotions
Joy
Money is not the most important thing in the world, love is… fortunately, I love money.
Jackie Mason
(1934 – ) comedian
Emotions
Love
Money
The only really happy folk are married women and single men.
H.L. Mencken
(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Happiness
Bachelors
Married women
Single men
Love will find a lay.
Robert Byrne
(1930 – ) American author and billiard player, teacher & commentator
Love
Sex
Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.
Woody Allen
(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Emotions
Laughter
Sex
I can’t do two things at once; I can’t have intercourse and enjoy myself at the same time.
Richard Lewis
(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Emotions
Happiness
Falling in love consists merely in uncorking the imagination and bottling the common sense.
Helen Rowland
(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Emotions
Intelligence
Love
Common sense
Imagination
Uncorking
If you have the woman you love, what more do you need? … well, besides an alibi for the time of her husband’s murder.
Jarod Kintz
(1982 – ) American author
Emotions
Love
Situations
Page 6 of 23
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