Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Emotions
(Page 6)
Tennis is like marrying for money; ‘love’ means nothing.
Phyllis Diller
(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Emotions
Love
Marriage
Sports
Tennis
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
Groucho Marx
(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Emotions
Things
Women
Cigar
Occasional pleasure
Smoke
Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
Ambrose Bierce
(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Anger
Characteristics
Communication
Speech
Regret
Don't get
historical!
Malaprop
Emotions
Hysterical
My girlfriend and I often laugh about how competitive we are… but I laugh more.
Anonymous
Emotions
Laughter
Every animal is sad after (sex) except the human female and the rooster.
Claudius Galen
(AD 129 – 199) Roman physician & philosopher
Emotions
Sex
Sadness
If we couldn't laugh, we would all go insane.
Jimmy Buffett
(1946 – ) singer, songwriter, author & businessman
Emotions
Intelligence
Laughter
Insanity
What may seem depressing or even tragic to one person may seem like an absolute scream to another person, especially if he has had between four and seven beers.
Dave Barry
(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Beer
Emotions
Situations
People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing.
Will Rogers
(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Anger
Emotions
Sense Of Humor: Being able to laugh at your friends’ misfortunes.
Anonymous
Definitions
Emotions
Sense of humor
If humor was the foundation of my life, men were definitely the first floor.
Gilda Radner
(1946 – 1989) comedian & actress
Emotions
Life
Men
People
Humor
If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
Groucho Marx
(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Emotions
Laughter
People
Self
A girl must marry for love, and keep on marrying until she finds it.
Zsa Zsa Gabor
(1917 – 2016) Hungarian-born American actress
Emotions
Love
Marriage
Nothing spoils the taste of peanut butter like unrequited love.
Charlie Brown
cartoon character,
Peanuts
, Charles Schulz (1922 – 2000) cartoonist
Emotions
Love
Unrequited love
I can still enjoy sex at 74; I live at 75, so it's no distance.
Bob Monkhouse
(1928 – 2003) English entertainer
Age
Emotions
Sex
Distance
The secret to happiness is short-term, stupid self-interest!
Bill Watterson
(1955 – ) cartoonist
(Calvin and Hobbes)
Emotions
Happiness
From Calvin & Hobbes
To find out if she really loved me, I hooked her up to a lie detector; and just as I suspected, my machine was broken.
Jarod Kintz
(1982 – ) American author
Emotions
Love
Situations
Lie detector
Loving Chicago is like loving a woman with a broken nose.
Nelson Algren
(1909 – 1981) writer
Emotions
Love
Places
Chicago
My daddy always said that a man who walks around with a smile on his face all the time can’t possibly know what's going on.
Fred Thompson
U.S. Senator (1942 – 2015) U.S. senator (Tennessee) & actor
Emotions
Intelligence
Smile
Love is a matter of chemistry; sex is a matter of physics.
Mark's Mark
Emotions
Love
Murphy’s Laws
Science/Weather
Chemistry
Physics
Saving love doesn't bring any interest.
Mae West
(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Emotions
Love
Money
Saving
Page 6 of 23
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