Subject: Entertainment (Page 19)

Musicals: a series of catastrophes ending with a floorshow.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Entertainment

Brass bands are all very well in their place – outdoors and several miles away.

(1879 – 1961) English conductor
Entertainment Music

Sarah Brightman couldn't act scared on the New York subway at four o'clock in the morning.

(1943 – 2007) American film critic
Acting Reviews/Criticism

If it's a good script I'll do it; and if it's a bad script, and they pay me enough, I'll do it.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Entertainment Film Money

The trouble with this business is the dearth of bad pictures.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
Entertainment Film Misspokements

Accordian: An instrument inharmony with the sentiments of an assassin.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Entertainment Music

The best tunes are played on the oldest fiddles.

(1803 – 1882) essayist, poet, & philosopher
Age Entertainment Music Old People

Keir Dullea, gone tomorrow.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Acting Entertainment Reviews/Criticism Wordplay

I would not have had anything to eat if it wasn't for the stuff the audience threw  at me.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Entertainment Food/Drink

The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.

(1899 – 1980) English filmmaker & producer
Entertainment Film

A movie so good they named a country after it.

(1940 – ) American-born British screenwriter, film director, animator & actor (Monty Python’s Flying Circus)
Entertainment Film

[Walking Tall] stars The Rock, but The Wood might be a better description of his performance.

film reviewer & critic
Acting Entertainment Insults

There is no doubt that the first requirement for a composer is to be dead.

(1892 – 1955) Swiss composer
Death Entertainment Music

The secret of my piano playing is that I always make sure that the lid over the keyboard is open before I start to play.

(1882 – 1951) Austrian composer & pianist
Entertainment Music

She ought to be arrested for loitering in front of an orchestra.

(1945 – ) singer, actress & comedian
Entertainment Insults

Football isn’t a contact sport, it’s a collision sport; dancing is a contact sport.

(1915 – 1987) American football player and coach
Dance Football Sports

It resembles a tortoise shell cat having a fit in a plate of tomatoes.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Art Reviews/Criticism

Mr Lewis’ pictures appeared to have been painted by a mailed fist in a cotton glove.

(1887 – 1964) English biographer, critic, novelist & poet
Art Reviews/Criticism

The first time I saw you on stage I realized what a wonderful voice you've got; I think you're so brave not to have had it trained.

(1836 – 1911) English dramatist, librettist, poet & illustrator
Acting Insults Reviews/Criticism

Man: Mr. Melon, your wife was just showing us her Klimt [an Austrian painter].

Thornton Melon: You too, huh? She’s shown it to everybody.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Art TV/Movie Quotes

The murals in restaurants are on par with the food in museums.

(1910 – 1993) editor & novelist
Art Entertainment Food/Drink