Subject: Entertainment (Page 30)

I like to go to art museums and name the untitled paintings… Boy With Pail… Kitten On Fire.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Entertainment

I don't know what was wrong with my television last night, but I was getting C-Span and the Home Shopping Network on the same station, and I actually bought a congressman.

(1951 – ) American comedian & writer
Congress Entertainment Government Politicians Television

If you must keep groaning, please try to do it in a rhythm I can dance to.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Communication Dance Speech

The musician who invented Swing ought to.

Communication Entertainment Music

Piano: A parlor utensil for subduing the impertinent visitor. It is operated by depressing the keys of the machine and the spirits of the audience.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Entertainment Music Things

Elvis may have been the king of rock 'n' roll, but I am the queen.

Richard Penniman (1932 – ) American singer & pianist
Entertainment Music People Self

I’m disappointed with every movie about sharks that closes with “The End” instead of “Fin.”

Animals Entertainment Film

Tallulah Bankhead barged down the Nile last night as Cleopatra – and sank.

(1900 – 1969) American drama critic & author
Acting Entertainment Insults Reviews/Criticism

Like two skeletons copulating on a corrugated tin roof.

(1879 – 1961) English conductor
Entertainment Music

Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Emotions Entertainment Laughter People

I don’t like this reality television, I have to be honest… I think real people should not be on television; it’s for special people like us, people who have trained and studied to appear to be real.

(1949 – 2016) American comedian & television actor
Entertainment Television

A drawing is always dragged down to the level of its caption.

(1894 – 1961) author, cartoonist & humorist
Entertainment

She stopped the show – but then the show wasn't traveling very fast.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Acting Communication Entertainment Reviews/Criticism

The worst of failure of this kind is that it spoils the market for more competent performers.

(1877 – 1947) British diarist & critic
Acting Reviews/Criticism

You know, the only difference between me and a surgeon or a pediatrician is that when I approach a couple with a child and say, ‘I’d like to keep him for a few days and do some bloodwork,’ it’s considered inappropriate.

(1969 – ) American actress, comedian, producer & writer
Doctors Entertainment Health

My friend George is a radio announcer and when he walks under a bridge you can’t hear him talk.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Entertainment

Every time I paint a portrait I lose a friend.

(1856 – 1925) American artist & portrait painter
Art Entertainment Friends People

One time I went to a drive-in in a taxi cab… the movie cost me $95.00.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Entertainment Film Money

Let’s be honest: Isn’t a lot what we call tap dancing really just nerves?

Entertainment Miscellaneous

An intellectual snob is someone who can listen to The William Tell Overture and not think of The Lone Ranger.

(1931 – ) television newscaster
Music

An actor’s success has the life expectancy of a small boy about to look into a gas tank with a lighted match.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Acting Entertainment Success