Subject: Entertainment (Page 32)

Having your book turned into a movie is like seeing your oxen turned into bouillon cubes.

(David John Moore Cornwell) (1931 – ) British author
Books Communication Entertainment Film

In Russia we only had two TV channels: Channel One was propaganda, Channel Two consisted of a KGB officer telling you: “Turn back at once to Channel One.”

(1951 – ) Soviet-American comedian
Entertainment Places Television

As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it.

(1936 – ) television talk show host
Entertainment Money People Television

Apparently the understudy had to go because of her throat; I suppose someone threatened to cut it.

(1865-1940) English actress
Acting Entertainment Insults Reviews/Criticism

In China, the piano piece ‘Chopsticks’ is known as ‘Knife and Fork.’

(1922 – ) English comedy writer & television presenter
Entertainment Music Places

Jazz: Music invented by demons for the torture of imbeciles.

(1852 – 1933) author, educator & clergyman
Entertainment Fools Intelligence Music

I played an unsympathetic part… myself.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Acting Entertainment

I got kicked out of Riverdance for using my arms.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Dance Entertainment

I've seen a topless lady ventriloquist… nobody has ever seen her lips move!

(1927 – 2018) British comedian, singer & songwriter
Appearance Body Entertainment

There's no business like show business… but there are several businesses like accounting.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host
Entertainment Occupations Work

Australia's gift to insomniacs; it's nothing but the blonde singing the bland.

(1947 – 1979) American singer
Entertainment Insults Music

Ricardo Montalban is to improvisational acting what Mount Rushmore is to animation.

(1929 – 1989) American actor, screenwriter & filmmaker
Acting Insults

What do you want me to do … stop shooting now and release it as The Five Commandments?

(1881 – 1959) American film director & producer
Entertainment Film

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Dance Entertainment Intelligence Music

Watch out where the huskies go, and don’t you eat that yellow snow.

(1940 – 1993) composer, guitarist, record producer & film director
Entertainment Music

The Three Ages of Marriage: Twenty is when you watch the TV after; Forty is when you watch the TV during; Sixty is when you watch the TV instead.

Entertainment Marriage Sex Television

This is good because up until now, the only channel to find 24-hour coverage of the NFL players was Court TV.

(1963 – ) television host & comedian
Entertainment Football Television

Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Entertainment Television TV/Movie Quotes

Music with dinner is an insult both to the cook and the violinist.

(1874 – 1936) English author & mystery novelist
Entertainment Food/Drink Music

A great actress, from the waist down.

(1848 – 1935) English actress
Acting Insults

[Walking Tall] stars The Rock, but The Wood might be a better description of his performance.

film reviewer & critic
Acting Entertainment Insults