Subject: Entertainment (Page 33)

The people who gave us golf and called it a game are the same people who gave us bag pipes and called it music.

Entertainment Golf Music Sports

If you want to make an audience laugh, you dress a man up like an old lady and push her down the stairs; if you want to make comedy writers laugh, you push an actual old lady down the stairs.

(1970 – ) American actress, comedian, writer & producer
Emotions Entertainment Laughter

Why am I so good at playing bitches? I think it's because I'm not a bitch; maybe that's why Miss Crawford always plays ladies.

(1908 – 1989) American actress of film, television & theater
Entertainment Film Insults

Generally, he had a good ear; he didn't know the notes that well, but he played in their general vicinity.

(1934 – ) daughter of Jack Benny and Mary Livingstone
Entertainment Music

I don’t think he could direct his nephew to the bathroom.

(1937 – ) American film & television actress, director, screenwriter & producer
Entertainment Film Insults

Imitation is the sincerest form of television.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Entertainment Television

You might be a redneck if… you think 'N Sync is where the dirty dishes go.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Entertainment Music People Rednecks

I can think of nothing more boring for the American people than to have to sit in their living rooms for a whole half hour looking at my face on their television screens.

(1890 – 1969) 34th U.S. president, U.S. Army General
Entertainment Television

Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Emotions Entertainment Laughter People

She stopped the show – but then the show wasn't traveling very fast.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Acting Communication Entertainment Reviews/Criticism

I went to a record store and asked for 50 Cent; they kicked me out for pan-handling.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comic
Entertainment Music

Painting is just another way of keeping a diary.

(1881 – 1973) Spanish painter, sculptor, printmaker & stage designer
Art Entertainment

I played an unsympathetic part… myself.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Acting Entertainment

Who among us has not gazed thoughtfully and patiently at a painting of Jackson Pollock and thought… "What a piece of crap?"

American television producer, screenwriter, executive producer & author
Art Insults

Humor is always based on a modicum of truth; have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?

(1929 – 2012) American radio & television personality
Entertainment

We idolized the Beatles, except for those of us who idolized the Rolling Stones, who in those days still had many of their original teeth.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Age Entertainment Health Music

I don't make jokes… I just watch the government and report the facts.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Entertainment Government

Painting: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather and exposing them to the critic.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Art Definitions

What garlic is to salad, insanity is to art.

(1848 – 1907) Irish-born American sculptor
Art Entertainment

Enraged by Bristol Palin on ‘Dancing,’ Man Shoots TV, Prompts Standoff

Entertainment Headlines Television

A great actress, from the waist down.

(1848 – 1935) English actress
Acting Insults