Entertainment | Just-One-Liners.com

Subject: Entertainment (Page 7)

Which painting in the National Gallery would I save if there was a fire?… the one nearest the door of course.

George Bernard Shaw

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

Why should I paint dead fish, onions and beer glasses; girls are so much prettier.

Marie Laurencin

(1883 – 1956) French painter & printmaker

Art Entertainment Painting

My father hated radio and could not wait for television to be invented so he could hate that too.

Peter De Vries

(1910 – 1993) editor & novelist

Entertainment Television Radio

Erin Brockovich
Screwed
My Dog Skip

Sign

Entertainment Film Signs On a theater marquee

The English may not like music, but they absolutely love the noise it makes.

Thomas Beecham

(1879 – 1961) English conductor

Entertainment Music People Places English

This might have been good for a picture… except it has too many characters in it.

Wilson Mizner

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter

Entertainment Film Of the Los Angeles phone book

I know [canned music] makes chickens lay more eggs and factory workers produce more, but how much more can they get out of you on an elevator?

Victor Borge

(1909 – 2000) Danish-born comedian & pianist

Entertainment Music Elevators

Men who listen to classical music tend not to spit.

Rita Rudner

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer

Entertainment Men People Classical music Spitting

The first Presidential debate was down in Florida and residents spent all day putting plywood on their televisions.

David Letterman

(1947 – ) comedian & television host

President Television Debate Florida Plywood

Nowadays Mitchum doesn’t so much act as point his suit at people.

Russell Davies

(1946 – ) British journalist & broadcaster

Acting Reviews/Criticism Of Robert MItchum

If my films don’t show a profit, I know I’m doing something right.

Woody Allen

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

Entertainment Film Money Profit

I hope you go before me because I don’t want you singing at my funeral.

Spike Milligan

(1918 – 2002) Irish comedian, writer, musician, poet & playwright

Death Entertainment Funerals Singing

I got wasted last night, and I hit an animal with my car… in the lobby of Caesar's Palace.

Jeff Ross

(1965 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor, director & author

Animals Entertainment Places Caesar's Palace

It used to be that we in films were the lowest form of art; now we have something to look down on.

Billy Wilder

(1906 – 2002) Austrian journalist, filmmaker, screenwriter & producer

Entertainment Television

Watch out where the huskies go, and don’t you eat that yellow snow.

Frank Zappa

(1940 – 1993) composer, guitarist, record producer & film director

Entertainment Music From “Don’t Eat The Yellow Snow”

Isn't it possible for them to get a real fascist instead of this guy who plays one on TV?

Mort Sahl

(1927 – ) Canadian-born American comedian & actor

Characteristics Communication Television Criticism Sean Hannity

Applause is a receipt, not a note of demand.

Arthur Schnabel

(1882 – 1951) Austrian composer & pianist

Entertainment Applause

Jack Benny played Mendelsson last night… Mendelsson lost.

Anonymous

Entertainment Music Jack Benny Violin

I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do; and for the people who like country music, denigrate means 'put down.’

Bob Newhart

(1929 – ) American comedian & comic actor

Entertainment Music People Country music

I don't know if this is a matter for the costume department or the hairdresser.

Alfred Hitchcock

(1899 – 1980) English filmmaker & producer

Entertainment Film Situations To crew complaints that Tallulah Bankhead’s habit of not wearing underwear was creating camera angle problems in shooting “Lifeboat”

The Three Ages of Marriage: Twenty is when you watch the TV after; Forty is when you watch the TV during; Sixty is when you watch the TV instead.