Subject: Entertainment (Page 8)

The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.

(1894 – 1961) author, cartoonist & humorist
Characteristics Entertainment Opinion

I got kicked out of Riverdance for using my arms.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Dance Entertainment

Fiddle: An instrument to tickle human ears by friction of a horse's tail on the entrails of a cat.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Animals Definitions Music

Longfellow is to poetry what the barrel-organ is to music.

(1886 – 1963) literary critic, biographer & historian
Insults Music Reading/Writing

The Three Ages of Marriage: Twenty is when you watch the TV after; Forty is when you watch the TV during; Sixty is when you watch the TV instead.

Entertainment Marriage Sex Television

Nowadays, the perfect crime is getting caught and then selling your story to TV.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Conflict Crime Entertainment Television

Art is science made clear.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Art Science/Weather

The only reason Woodstock was necessary is because they didn't have iTunes.

(1975 – ) American stand-up comedian & television host
Entertainment Music

He doesn't remember any silent days in motion pictures – the director always yelled.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Communication Entertainment Film Speech

When will I learn? The answer to life’s problems aren’t at the bottom of a bottle, they’re on TV!

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Television TV/Movie Quotes

Does it have a happy ending?

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Entertainment

Paranoia is a bad personality trait for a comedian; what are you laughing at?

(1974 – ) Scottish comedian
Characteristics Entertainment

You might be a redneck if… your down where you come from reruns of Hee Haw are called documentaries.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Entertainment Intelligence People Rednecks Television

An associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood who will associate with a producer.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Entertainment Hollywood Places

He hasn't just lost the plot, he's lost the whole library!

Entertainment Music Reviews/Criticism

God writes a lot of comedy… the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.

(1942 – ) humorist & radio broadcaster
Emotions Entertainment God

I can’t watch TV longer than five minutes without praying for nuclear holocaust.

(1961 – 1994) comedian
Entertainment Television

Rembrandt painted 700 pictures; of these, 3,000 are still in existence.

(1845 – 1929) German art historian & curator
Art Entertainment

Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Activities Entertainment Film Sports

She speaks five languages and can't act in any of them.

(1904 – 2000) English actor, director & producer
Acting Entertainment Insults

The people who gave us golf and called it a game are the same people who gave us bag pipes and called it music.

Entertainment Golf Music Sports