Subject: Entertainment » Television (Page 6)

Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?

(1946 – ) American comedian

I don’t like to watch golf on television because I can’t stand people who whisper.

(1936 – 2014) American standup comedian, actor & author

If it’s attention you want, don’t get involved with a man during play-off season.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer

Television: A means of getting a babysitter so Mom and Dad can get out to the movies.

If there are only two shows worth watching, they will be on at the same time.

I wanted to make it really special on Valentine's Day, so I tied my boyfriend up… and for three solid hours I watched whatever I wanted on TV.

American comedian

You know that show 'Teen Mom'? … or if you're from the South, 'Mom.'

(1981 – ) American Comedian

Imitation is the sincerest form of television.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian

In Russia we only had two TV channels: Channel One was propaganda, Channel Two consisted of a KGB officer telling you: “Turn back at once to Channel One.”

(1951 – ) Soviet-American comedian

You might be a redneck if… your down where you come from reruns of Hee Haw are called documentaries.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

Begathon: A multi-day event on public television, used to raise money so you won't have to watch commercials.

(1954 – ) American comedian, writer & musician

My father hated radio and could not wait for television to be invented so he could hate that too.

(1910 – 1993) editor & novelist

I saw a commercial on late night TV, it said,“Forget everything you know about slipcovers,” so I did, and it was a load off my mind; then the commercial tried to sell me slipcovers, and I didn’t know what the hell they were.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian

You ever look for the remote control and can’t find it, so you just decide, ‘Ah, it looks like I’m not watching TV.”

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor

I'm just trying to make a smudge on the collective unconscious.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host

Motor racing's less of a sport these days than a commercial break doing 150 mph.

sportswriter

The cable TV sex channels don't expand our horizons, don't make us better people and don't come in clearly enough.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator

Television is for appearing on – not for looking at.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter

I can think of nothing more boring for the American people than to have to sit in their living rooms for a whole half hour looking at my face on their television screens.

(1890 – 1969) 34th U.S. president, U.S. Army General

Never buy a man a plasma TV until you’re married; a lot of men once they have a plasma TV they don’t need a girlfriend.

(1963 – ) American comedian & author

I know what the public want because I am one of them.

(1906 – 1998) Russian-born English film producer & media mogul