Subject: Family » Children (Page 15)

If it weren’t for baseball, many kids wouldn’t know what a millionaire looked like.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Baseball Children Money Sports Wealth

Cycling's a good thing for the youngsters, because it keeps them off the streets.

Children Sports

A child can be taught not to do certain things, such as touch a hot stove, pull lamps off of tables, and wake Mommy before noon.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Children Family Learning

Now the thing about having a baby – and I can’t be the first person to have noticed this – is that thereafter you have it.

(1922 – 2003) author & playwright
Children Family

Lawyers, I suppose, were children once.

(1775 – 1834) English critic & essayist
Age Children Government Law Lawyers Young

Children are the most desirable opponents at Scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Activities Children Games

With the birth of a child you lose two novels.

(1955 – ) Scottish writer
Books Children Communication Family Reading/Writing

A woman never wakes up her second baby just to see it smile.

Children Family

When I meet a man I ask myself, 'Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?'

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Children Husbands Marriage

Out of the mouths of babes come things parents never should have said.

Children Communication Family Speech

I like children… if they’re properly cooked.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Children TV/Movie Quotes

What's the advantage of having a kid at 49?… you can both be in diapers at the same time?

stand-up comedian
Age Children Old

Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Characteristics Children

My daughter and I are very close, we speak every single day and I call her every day and I say the same thing, “Pick up, I know you’re there.”

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Children Communication Family

The cool part about naming your kid is you don’t have to add six numbers to make sure the name is available.

(1950 – ) American actor & comedian
Children Family

Never let a child wearing Superman pajamas sleep on the top bunk.

Children Family

Homosexuality is God’s way of ensuring that the truly gifted aren’t burdened with children.

comedian, composer & lyricist
Characteristics Children Intelligence People

Toddlers Are A**holes: It’s Not Your Fault

Book Titles Children Family

Let the kids pay it – they still owe us rent and gas money.

(1927 – 1997) Am. comedian & satirist notable for mock presidential campaign
Children Government Money

Back then the women had babies, which they called in them days, begatten.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Children Malaprops

They were the type of children who would kill both parents and make you feel sorry for them because they were orphans.

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist
Children Family