Subject: Family » Children (Page 15)

I think that maybe if women and children were in charge we would get somewhere.

(1894 – 1961) author, cartoonist & humorist
Children People Situations Women

Kids… I like kids, but I couldn’t eat a whole one.

Age Children Family Travel

Nothing’s as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Children Family

When you wake up one day and say, “You know what? I don’t think I ever need to sleep or have sex again.” … congratulations, you’re ready (to have children).

(1957 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor & screenwriter
Children Family

Never let a child wearing Superman pajamas sleep on the top bunk.

Children Family

If it weren’t for baseball, many kids wouldn’t know what a millionaire looked like.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Baseball Children Money Sports Wealth

My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Children Family Fathers

You don’t know what love is ’til you become a parent and fish a turd out of the bathtub for someone, then have to act positive about it.

stand-up comedian, actor, writer & producer
Children Emotions Family Love

There are times when parenthood seems nothing but feeding the mouth that bites you.

(1910 – 1993) editor & novelist
Children Family Parents

You can learn many things from children… how much patience you have for instance.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist
Children Education Family Learning

There is a special bathroom in heaven for the father of girls.

Children Family

With Photoshop so readily available, there’s no reason ever to have a party for a two-year-old.

(1972 – ) stand-up comedian & writer
Children Family Situations

Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they're looking for ideas.

(1959 – ) American comedian
Age Children Ideas

When you’re a fat kid, you only get to be two things… funny and goalie.

(1980 – ) Canadian writer, comedian & political activist
Appearance Body Children Fat

A child is a person who can’t understand why someone would give away a perfectly good kitten.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Animals Cats Children Family

I love all my children… I’m delighted to see them come and delighted to see them go.

(1912 – 2002) English novelist
Children Family

Having a child makes you a parent; having two, you are a referee.

(1939 – ) British journalist, comedian, writer & media personality
Children Family

My kid wanted a BB gun for Christmas, I got him the BB gun and he gave me a sweater with a bull’s eye on it.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Children Family

You might be a redneck if… you ever named a child after a dog.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Animals Children Dogs Family People Rednecks

Parenthood is a lot easier to get into than out of.

(1941 – ) poet, author, editor & anthologist
Children Family Situations

There is no more somber enemy of good art than the pram in the hall.

(1903 – 1974) English intellectual, literary critic & writer
Art Children Entertainment Family