Subject: Family » Children (Page 13)

Even though your kids will consistently do the exact opposite of what you’re telling them to do, you have to keep loving them just as much.

(1937 – ) comedian & television actor
Children Emotions Family Love

I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home.

(1927 – ) magician & comedy writer
Children People Places

The ambition of every small boy is to wash his mother’s ears.

Children Family

Twins: Infant replay.

Children Definitions Family

When your first baby drops its doll, you sterilize it; when your second baby drops its doll, you tell the dog to “Fetch.”

(1941 – ) poet, author, editor & anthologist
Children Family

If we're all God's children, what's so special about Jesus?

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Beliefs Children God Religion

Experimenting with Babies

Book Titles Children

If you’ve never been hated by your child, you’ve never been a parent.

(1908 – 1989) American actress of film, television & theater
Children Emotions Family Parents

Never underestimate the determination of a kid who is time rich and cash poor.

(1971 – ) Canadian blogger, journalist & science fiction author
Characteristics Children

My daughter and I are very close, we speak every single day and I call her every day and I say the same thing, “Pick up, I know you’re there.”

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Children Communication Family

Then we figured out we could just park them in front of the TV; that's how I was raised and I turned out TV.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Children Television TV/Movie Quotes

Lawyers, I suppose, were children once.

(1775 – 1834) English critic & essayist
Age Children Government Law Lawyers Young

Every parent knows that for a kid, the car is chloroform.

(1957 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor & screenwriter
Autos Children Family Things

A boy becomes a man when he stops asking his father for an allowance and requests a loan.

Children Family

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Children Family Health Men Women

Birthday parties always end in tears.

Children Murphy’s Laws Situations

My childhood should have taught me lessons for my own parenthood, but it didn’t because parenting can be learned only by people who have no children.

(1937 – ) comedian & television actor
Children Family Parents

You might be a redneck if… you keep a fly swatter in the front seat of the car so you can reach your kids in the back seat of the car.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Autos Children People

A child is a curly, dimpled lunatic.

(1803 – 1882) essayist, poet, & philosopher
Children Family Old

I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing.

(1925 – 2005) television host
Characteristics Children People Things

Never let a child wearing Superman pajamas sleep on the top bunk.

Children Family