Subject: Family » Children (Page 18)

When I hear a baby, I always write down the noises he makes, so later I can ask him what he meant.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Children Communication Family

I was the kid next door’s imaginary friend.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Children Friends Old People

You can learn many things from children… how much patience you have for instance.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist
Children Education Family Learning

As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I’ve done my job.

(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
Children Family Mothers

If you’ve never been hated by your child, you’ve never been a parent.

(1908 – 1989) American actress of film, television & theater
Children Emotions Family Parents

We have a beautiful little girl who we named after my mom; in fact Passive Aggressive Psycho turns five tomorrow.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Children Family Mothers Old

The ambition of every small boy is to wash his mother’s ears.

Children Family

Showoff: A child who is more talented than yours.

Children Definitions Family

When your first baby drops its doll, you sterilize it; when your second baby drops its doll, you tell the dog to “Fetch.”

(1941 – ) poet, author, editor & anthologist
Children Family

The fundamental defect of fathers is that they want their children to be a credit to them.

(1872 – 1970) British philosopher, mathematician, historian & social critic
Characteristics Children Family Fathers

Do not, on a rainy day, ask your child what he feels like doing, because I assure you that what he feels like doing, you won’t feel like watching.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Activities Children Family

Kids used to ask you where they came from – now they tell you where to go.

Children Murphy’s Laws

People who get nostalgic about childhood were obviously never children.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)
Age Children Family Past Young

I’ve got a long history of suicide in my family; the good news is it skips a generation, so, if I’m lucky, my kids will kill themselves.

(1978 – ) American writer & stand-up comedian
Children Family

There are only two things a child will share willingly – communicable diseases and his mother’s age.

(1903 – 1998) American pediatrician & author
Age Children Family Health Mothers

I spent 10 minutes with her [my sister’s] four kids, and my ovaries tied themselves in a knot.

American comedian
Children Family

The advantage of having only one child is that you always know who did it.

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist
Children Family

I am determined that my children shall be brought up in their father’s religion, if they can find out what it is.

(1775 – 1834) English critic & essayist
Beliefs Children Family Fathers Religion

It is only rarely that one can see in a little boy the promise of a man, but one can almost always see in a little girl the threat of a woman.

(1824 – 1895) French writer
Children Girls People

Experimenting with Babies

Book Titles Children

We’ve begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet – so we bought a dog; well, it’s cheaper, and you get more feet.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Animals Children Dogs Family