Subject: Food/Drink » Alcohol (Page 10)

I admit to spending a fortune on women, booze and gambling… the rest I spend foolishly.

(1919 – 1985) Scottish comedian & actor
Alcohol Money Women

Never drink anything that’s still on fire.

Alcohol Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

Alcohol: A liquid good for preserving everything except secrets.

Alcohol Definitions Food/Drink

My manager said, “Don’t use liquor as a crutch!” I can’t use liquor as a crutch, because a crutch helps me walk.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Alcohol Food/Drink

Candy, is dandy, but liquor, is quicker.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Alcohol Food/Drink Sex Time

If you don’t drink, then all of your stories suck and end with, “And then I got home…"

(1977 – ) Australian comedian
Alcohol Food/Drink

My father drank beer in the morning; later in the day he drank anything.

(1921 – 2007) Scottish-born actress
Alcohol Beer Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes

Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Alcohol Food/Drink

You might be a redneck if… you've ever been too drunk to fish.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Alcohol People Rednecks

Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with it's just compounding the felony.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist
Alcohol Food/Drink Fools Intelligence

When you stop drinking, you have to deal with this marvelous personality that started you drinking in the first place.

(1930 – 2017) American journalist & author
Alcohol Characteristics Food/Drink

I drink too much. Last time I gave a urine sample there was an olive in it.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Alcohol Food/Drink

An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.

(1914 – 1953) Welsh-born poet & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink Health People Self

Follow seven beers with a couple of Scotches and a thimble of good marijuana, and it's funny how sleep just sort of comes on its own.

(1921 – 2001) Welsh comedian & singer
Activities Alcohol Drugs Sleep

Of course, now I touch nothing stronger than buttermilk: 90-proof buttermilk.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink

I feel like a drunken man who doesn’t have a drink.

English football player, manager & sports commentator
Alcohol Food/Drink Misspokements

Never accept a drink from a urologist.

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist
Alcohol Characteristics Doctors Health

A man's got to believe in something… and I believe I'll have another drink.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Beliefs Food/Drink Individuals

She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say "when."

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Alcohol Appearance Insults

The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.

(1899 – 1957) film actor
Alcohol Food/Drink

I envy people who drink – at least they know what to blame everything on.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Alcohol Food/Drink