Subject: Food/Drink » Alcohol (Page 9)

I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade… and try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.

(1956 – ) American stand-up comedian
Alcohol Death

I only drink to steady my nerves… sometimes I’m so steady I don’t move for months.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink

An alcoholic is a person who drinks more than his own physician.

Alcohol Doctors Food/Drink Health

I don’t believe in dining on an empty stomach.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Eating Food/Drink

I got so drunk one night I woke up in a chalk outline.

American comedian
Alcohol Food/Drink

The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Alcohol Communication People

Drink ‘til she’s cute, but stop before the wedding.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Alcohol Dating Relationships

The church is near, but the road is icy; the bar is far away, but I will walk carefully.

Alcohol Food/Drink Proverbs

His brain is a half-inch layer of champagne poured over a bucket of Methodist near-beer.

(1873 – 1945) journalist & author
Alcohol Insults Intelligence

The problem with some people is that when they aren’t drunk, they’re sober.

(1865 – 1939) Irish poet & politician
Alcohol Food/Drink Insults People

If you ever need someone to drink with, I’ll drink with you. If you ever need a shoulder to cry on, I’ll drink with you. I guess what I’m trying to say is: I love to drink!

(1958 – ) American actress & singer
Alcohol TV/Movie Quotes

Never drink anything that’s still on fire.

Alcohol Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

[Tequila] is not even a drink; it’s a way for having the cops around without using a phone.

(1971 – ) Irish comedian, actor & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink

My dad has a weird hobby; he collects empty bottles… which sounds so much better than “alcoholic.”

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Alcohol Fathers Food/Drink

It looks different when you're sober; I thought I had twice as much furniture.

(1927 – 2018) playwright & screenwriter
Alcohol Food/Drink

There wasn't a man alive who could drink me into bed!

(1907 – 1982) American journalist, editor & author
Alcohol Sex

There definitely needs to be water on the sidelines for these players, but I also had some Gatorade just in case they were allergic to the water or vice versa.

(1936 – ) American football coach & television announcer
Alcohol Health Misspokements Sports

A prohibitionist is the sort of man one couldn't care to drink with, even if he drank.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Alcohol Food/Drink People

There are two reasons for drinking: one is when you are thirsty, to cure it; the other, when you are not thirsty, to prevent it.

(1785 – 1866) English novelist & poet
Alcohol Food/Drink

I didn’t think prohibition would last that long.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink Time

I had to stop drinking, cause I got tired of waking up in my car driving 90.

(1940 – 2005) comedian & movie actor
Alcohol Food/Drink