Subject: Food/Drink » Alcohol (Page 10)

Beer with no alcohol — what a waste; that is like a nun with a D-cup.

(1958 – ) American actress & stand-up comedian
Alcohol Beer Food/Drink

We have a drinking game in Australia, it’s called drinking.

(1977 – ) Australian comedian
Alcohol Food/Drink Places

A telephone survey says that 51 percent of college students drink until they pass out at least once a month… the other 49 percent didn’t answer the phone.

(1962 – ) American actor and talk show host
Alcohol Food/Drink People

No married man is genuinely happy if he has to drink worse whisky than he used to drink when he was single.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Alcohol Marriage Men

No animal ever invented anything so bad as drunkenness – or so good as drink.

(1874 – 1936) English author & mystery novelist
Alcohol Food/Drink

Yeah, I know I’m ugly… I said to a bartender, ‘Make me a zombie;’ he said ‘God beat me to it.’

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Alcohol Appearance Body Food/Drink

What am I drinking? … NyQuil on the rocks, for when you're feeling sick but sociable.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Alcohol Food/Drink Health

Whiskey: The best thing to take for a headache – the night before.

Alcohol Definitions Food/Drink

Now don't say you can't swear off drinking… it's easy; I've done it a thousand times.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink

Never drink anything that’s still on fire.

Alcohol Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

Never drink anything that’s still on fire.

Alcohol Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

If you can laugh at yourself loud and hard every time you fall, people will think you're drunk.

(1963 – ) television host & comedian
Accidents Alcohol Emotions Laughter

AAA-AA: A club for people who are being driven to drink.

Alcohol Definitions Food/Drink

A drunken man's words are a sober man's thoughts.

Alcohol Ideas Murphy’s Laws

I once donated a pint of my finest red corpuscles to the great American Red Cross and the doctor opined my blood was very helpful; contained so much alcohol they could use it to sterilize their instruments.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink

She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say "when."

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Alcohol Appearance Insults

An Irishman is the only man in the world who will step over the bodies of a dozen naked women to get to a bottle of stout.

Alcohol Food/Drink People

Sleep… the most beautiful experience in life – except drink.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink Situations Sleep

Somebody's been putting pineapple juice in my pineapple juice!

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink

Say anything that you like about me except that I drink water.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink

Never buy a drink for the road, because the road is already laid out.

(1933 – 1998) comedian & actor
Alcohol Food/Drink