Keyword: Water

I never drink water; I'm afraid it will become habit-forming.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Characteristics

You can’t trust water: even a straight stick turns crooked in it.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Characteristics Things

Human beings are seventy percent water, and with some the rest is collagen.

(1943 – ) comedian & actor
Appearance Body People

Patsy: What will you drink if you stop drinking?
Edina: I shall drink water.
Patsy: [Blank look]
Edina: It’s a mixer, Patsy, we have it with whisky.

(1958 – ) English comedian, screenwriter & actress
Alcohol Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes

When the water reaches the upper deck, follow the rats.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems

There definitely needs to be water on the sidelines for these players, but I also had some Gatorade just in case they were allergic to the water or vice versa.

(1936 – ) American football coach & television announcer
Alcohol Health Misspokements Sports

I never drink water… fish f**k in it.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink Sex

Say anything that you like about me except that I drink water.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink

I have an underwater camera just in case I crash my car into a river, and at the last minute I see a photo opportunity of a fish that I have never seen.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Situations Things

A lot of people like snow, but I find it to be an unnecessary freezing of water.

(1922 – ) actor, film director, producer, writer & comedian
Science/Weather

In an underdeveloped country, don't drink the water; in a developed country, don't breathe the air.

(1942 – ) British travel writer & novelist
Murphy’s Laws Places

I never drink water; that’s the stuff that rusts pipes.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink

In an underdeveloped country, don't drink the water; in a developed country, don't breathe the air.

Murphy’s Laws Places

Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

Beliefs Proverbs

Droughts are because God didn’t pay his water bill.


God

Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water?… try spelling Evian backward.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Money People