Subject: Government » Law

I always say… that if my fellow citizens want to go to Hell I will help them… it’s my job.

(1841 – 1935) American jurist & Supreme Court justice
Government Law

[John] Ashcroft went on to say that our way of life is being threatened by a group of radical religious fanatics who are armed and dangerous; and then he called for prayers in the schools and an end to gun control.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Government Law

Here [in Paris] they hang a man first, and try him afterward.

(1622 – 1673) French playwright & actor
Government Law Places

For certain people, after fifty, litigation takes the place of sex.

(1925 – 2012) author, playwright, essayist & screenwriter
Age Law Old Sex

Congress: A body of men who meet to repeal laws.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Government Language Law

He’s not technically a lawyer, but he’s got three court cases next week.

Lisa Lampanelli (1961 – ) American stand-up comedian
Law People

People ask me what I'd most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday; I tell them, a paternity suit.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Age Law Old

The minute you read something that you can’t understand, you can almost be sure that it was drawn up by a lawyer.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Communication Government Intelligence Law Lawyers Understanding

Litigant: A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones.

Definitions Law

90% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

Government Law Lawyers

All lawyers are cut from the same cloth: fleece.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Crime Government Law Lawyers

Laws are like sausages… it’s better not to see them being made.

(1815 – 1898) Prussian statesman
Government Law

I would much prefer to be a judge than a coal miner because of the absence of falling coal.

(1937 – 1995) English satirist, writer & comedian
Government Law

An appeal is when you ask one court to show its contempt for another court.

(1867 – 1936) author & humorist
Government Law

Liquor – you can make it illegal but you can't make it unpopular.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Alcohol Food/Drink Law

Court Of Law: A place where a suit is pressed and a man maybe taken to the cleaners.

Definitions Law

I would think the squad car cop is to the cop on a bike as the sketch artist is to the etch-a-sketch artist.

(1969 – ) American stand-up comedian
Government Law

Criminal lawyer is a redundancy.

Government Law Lawyers

These people have served a longer sentence than some people who have committed murder.

(1943 – ) American television journalist & author
Government Law Situations

Lawyers, I suppose, were children once.

(1775 – 1834) English critic & essayist
Age Children Government Law Lawyers Young

A lawyer is a learned gentleman who rescues your estate from your enemies and keeps it himself.

(1778 – 1868) English politician
Government Law Lawyers