Subject: Government » Law (Page 6)

It’s better to be tried by twelve men than to be carried by six.

You might be a redneck if… ya can't get married to yer sweetheart 'cause there is a law against it.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

Litigant: A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones.

Some men are alive simply because it is against the law to kill them.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor

I was never ruined but twice; once when I lost a lawsuit and once when I won one.

(1694 – 1778) French author, humanist & satirist

Court Of Law: A place where a suit is pressed and a man maybe taken to the cleaners.

A liberal is a conservative who has been arrested.

(1931 – ) American author & journalist

The one great principle of the English law is, to make business for itself.

(1812 – 1870) English novelist

Legal: Used to mean lawful; now it means some kind of loophole.

If you laid all our laws end to end, there would be no end.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist

There is more law in the end of a policeman’s nightstick than in a decision of the Supreme Court.

Lawsuit: A contest generally won by the party that can afford to reimburse the lawyers on both sides of the dispute.

Only one thing, is impossible for God; to find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist

The length of time it takes a bill to pass through the legislature is in inverse proportion to the number of lobbying groups favoring it.

There is a statue of limitation.

(1879 – 1974) film producer

1. If the facts are against you, argue the law. 2. If the law is against you, argue the facts. 3. If the facts and the law are against you, yell like hell.

If you're being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire; they're trained for that!

(1964 – ) English comedian

Those who express random thoughts to legislative committees are often surprised and appalled to find themselves the instigators of law.

Time is money, especially when you are talking to a lawyer or buying a commercial.

(1902 – 1963) Danish actor

I was court-martialled in my absence, and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence.

(1923 – 1964) Irish poet, short story writer, novelist & playwright

Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings… and lawyers.

(1940 – 2005) comedian & movie actor