Subject: Government (Page 18)

A politician is an animal which can sit on a fence and yet keep both ears to the ground.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Politicians Situations

The three toughest jobs in the world are: President of the United States, mayor of New York, and head football coach at Notre Dame.

(1931 – 2012) American college football historian & television commentator
Government Occupations Work

Do you ever get the feeling that the only reason we have elections is to find out if the polls were right?

(1927 – ) magician & comedy writer
Elections/Voting Government

Tracers work BOTH ways.

Arms Military Murphy’s Laws

If you want to get ahead in this world get a lawyer – not a book.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Lawyers Life

Bing (Crosby) doesn't pay income tax; he just calls the government and says, 'How much do you boys need?'

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Government Money Taxes Wealth

Vote for the man who promises least; he’ll be the least disappointing.

(1870 – 1965) businessman & politician
Elections/Voting Government Politics

Never murder a man who is committing suicide.

Government Murphy’s Laws Politics Situations

Every man’s life, liberty, and property are in danger when the Legislature is in session.

(1782 – 1852) American statesman, senator (Massachusetts) & writer
Football Government

Although it is not true that all conservatives are stupid people, it is true that most stupid people are conservative.

(1806-1873) British philosopher
Beliefs Government Intelligence Opinion Stupidity

A block grant is a solid mass of money surrounded on all sides by governors.

Money Murphy’s Laws Politicians

Democracy is the counting of heads, regardless of the contents.

Democracy Elections/Voting Government

Democrats Are Sexy. Who Ever Heard of Good Piece of Elephant.

Government Politicians Signs

Too bad the only people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
America Government Intelligence Occupations Places Work

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
America Intelligence Language Military Places

The trouble with our liberal friends is not that they’re ignorant; it’s just that they know so much that isn’t so.

(1911 – 2004) 40th U.S. president & actor
Beliefs Government Politics

Politics is the pursuit of trivial men who, when they succeed at it, become important in the eyes of more trivial men.

(1882 – 1958) drama critic, editor
Government People Politicians

In most places in the country, voting is looked upon as a right and a duty, but in Chicago it’s a sport.

(1932 – 2017) comedian, social activist, critic & writer
Activities Elections/Voting Government Places Sports

I like my buddies from west Texas; I liked them when I was young; I liked them then I was middle – age; I liked them before I was president; and I like them during president, and I like them after president.

(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president
Age Friends People Places President

Fortify your front; you’ll get your rear shot up.

Military Murphy’s Laws

I feel proud to be living in a country where people are not afraid to laugh at themselves and where political satire is tolerated by the government, if not the television network.

(1927 – 1997) Am. comedian & satirist notable for mock presidential campaign
Government Law Politics