Subject: Government (Page 24)

After last week’s preliminary hearing Saddam Hussein was asked if he needed anything while in custody; “Yes,” he said, “Michael Jackson’s lawyer.”

(1972 – ) Irish comedian & television presenter
Government Lawyers

All other things being equal, the side with the simplest uniforms wins.

Appearance Clothing Military Murphy’s Laws

Anyone who is capable of getting themselves into a position of power should on no account be allowed to do the job.

(1952 – 2001) English writer, dramatist, & musician
Characteristics Government People Work

Political speeches are like steer horns: a point here, a point there, and a lot of bull in between.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Communication Government Politics Speech

This contract is so one-sided that I am surprised to find it written on both sides of the paper.

(1899 – 1966) British judge
Government Law

I'll be long gone before some smart person ever figures out what happened inside this Oval Office.

(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president
Government Intelligence President

Starr Aghast At First Lady Sex Position

Government

The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Congress Death Government Taxes

I have never found, in a long experience of politics, that criticism is ever inhibited by ignorance.

(1894 – 1986) British prime minister
Communication Intelligence Politicians

I don't believe I'll ever get credit for anything I do in foreign affairs, no matter how successful it is, because I didn't go to Harvard.

(1908 – 1973) 36th U.S. president
Government Success

I don't know what was wrong with my television last night, but I was getting C-Span and the Home Shopping Network on the same station, and I actually bought a congressman.

(1951 – ) American comedian & writer
Congress Entertainment Government Politicians Television

We all know this administration loves deleting history faster than Anthony Weiner when he hears footsteps.

(1985 – ) American comedian & actor
Government Politics

Elections are when people find out what politicians stand for, and politicians find out what people will fall for.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Elections/Voting Government People Politicians

Why does the Air Force need expensive new bombers? … have the people we’ve been bombing over the years been complaining?

(1952 – ) American comedian & actor
Government Military

The one great principle of the English law is, to make business for itself.

(1812 – 1870) English novelist
England Government Law Places

When in doubt, empty the magazine.

Arms Military Murphy’s Laws

Statesman: A politician away from home.

Definitions Politicians

Politicians are wonderful people as long as they stay away from things they don't understand, such as working for a living.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Government Politicians Work

Asking the ignorant to use the incomprehensible to decide the unknowable.

(1932 – ) American judge & author
Government Law

Injustice is relatively easy to bear, what stings is justice.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Government Law

Court Of Law: A place where a suit is pressed and a man maybe taken to the cleaners.

Definitions Law