Subject: Government (Page 25)

Smart bombs have bad days too.

Arms Military Murphy’s Laws

No matter what I do, literally nothing bad can happen to me; I’m like a white male U.S. senator.

(1971 – ) American actress, comedian, producer & writer
Government People Self

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Government Marriage Politics

How come we choose from just two people for president, and fifty for Miss America?

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Government

Politician: A fellow who borrows your pot in which to cook your goose.

Definitions Government Politicians

An extraordinary affair; I gave them their orders and they wanted to stay and discuss them.

(1769 – 1852) British soldier & statesman
Government

Rich people bring a lawyer; Latinos and blacks bring their moms.

(1976 – ) comedian
Lawyers Money Mothers People

The two symbols of the Republican Party: an elephant, and a big fat white guy who is threatened by change.

(1973 – ) animator, writer, actor & producer
Animals Government Politics

Finishing second in the Olympics gets you silver; finishing second in politics gets you oblivion.

(1913 – 1994) 37th U.S. president
Government Politics Sports

Legal: Used to mean lawful; now it means some kind of loophole.

Definitions Government Law

American diplomacy is like watching somebody trying to do joinery with a chainsaw.

(1941 – ) British poet & novelist
Government

I would think the squad car cop is to the cop on a bike as the sketch artist is to the etch-a-sketch artist.

(1969 – ) American stand-up comedian
Government Law

Some men are alive simply because it is against the law to kill them.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Characteristics Law People

A libertarian is just a Republican who takes drugs.

(1951 – ) American anarchist writer
Drugs Government People Politics

It’s a sad day when our politicians are comical and I have to take our comedians seriously!

Politics Signs

Honest Politician: One who, when he is bought, will stay bought.

Definitions Government Politicians

What IS a ‘moderate Iranian,’ anyway?… someone who takes hostages but doesn't eat them?

(1932 – ) American political satirist & comedian
Government Places Politics

This is not the first time that Europe has been passive while a Jew-hating tyrant with a weird looking mustache killed the people by giving them gas… obviously I'm talking about Chef Boyardee.

(1970 – ) American comedian, writer & actress
Government People

A Confederacy of Dunces

Book Titles Government

I don’t want to know what the law is, I want to know who the judge is.

(1927 – 1986) American attorney
Government Law

I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Education Law Money School