Subject: Government (Page 25)

The best reason I can think of for not running for President of the United States is that you have to shave twice a day.

(1900 – 1965) diplomat & Democratic politician
America Appearance Government Places President

The trouble with our liberal friends is not that they’re ignorant; it’s just that they know so much that isn’t so.

(1911 – 2004) 40th U.S. president & actor
Beliefs Government Politics

I vote for whoever will annoy my dad.

(1988 – ) English comedian, television presenter & actor
Elections/Voting Government

Get re-elected.

Elections/Voting Government Murphy’s Laws

The most dangerous thing in the combat zone is an officer with a map.

Military Murphy’s Laws War

We shouldn’t have to be burdened with all the technicalities that come up from time to time with shrewd, smart lawyers interpreting what the laws or what the Constitution may or may not say.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Government Law Lawyers Misspokements

The government deficit is the difference between the amount of money the government spends and the amount it has the nerve to collect.

(1920 – 2001) American writer & humorist
Government Money

A good politician is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Characteristics Government Honesty Politicians

Alliance: In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other’s pockets that hey cannot separately plunder a third.

Definitions Politics

We’re all capable of mistakes, but I do not care to enlighten you on the mistakes we may or may not have made.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Government Misspokements Mistakes Problems

No matter what I do, literally nothing bad can happen to me; I’m like a white male U.S. senator.

(1971 – ) American actress, comedian, producer & writer
Government People Self

I’ve still got a lot to learn about Washington… Thursday, I accidentally spent some of my own money.

U.S. Senator (1942 – 2015) U.S. senator (Tennessee) & actor
Government Places

The bosom friend of senators and congressmen was about as daring as an early Shirley Temple movie.

(1894 – 1961) author, cartoonist & humorist
Government Insults Politicians

Lawyer: One skilled in circumvention of the law.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Law

The most undesirable things are the most certain (death and taxes).

Death Murphy’s Laws Problems Taxes

If women ran the world we wouldn’t have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Government People Women

The best way to publicize a governmental or political action is to attempt to hide it.

Government Murphy’s Laws

Litigant: A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Government Law

Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors and miss.

(1907 – 1988) science fiction author
Alcohol Food/Drink Government Taxes

Those who express random thoughts to legislative committees are often surprised and appalled to find themselves the instigators of law.

Government Law Murphy’s Laws

The minute you read something that you can’t understand, you can almost be sure that it was drawn up by a lawyer.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Communication Government Intelligence Law Lawyers Understanding