Subject: Government (Page 26)

The quartermaster has only two sizes, too large and too small.

Clothing Government Military Murphy’s Laws

If you can keep your head while those around you are losing theirs, you may have misjudged the situation.

Military Murphy’s Laws

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Government Marriage Politics

Censorship does not interfere with the constitutional rights of every American to sit alone in a dark room in the nude and cuss.

(1927 – 1997) Am. comedian & satirist notable for mock presidential campaign
Government Law People

This President is going to lead us out of this recovery.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Government Misspokements President

We have the power to do any damn fool thing we want to do, and we seem to do it about every ten minutes.

(1905 – 1995) U.S. senator (Arkansas)
Government People Self

I've arranged with my executor to be buried in Chicago, because when I die, I want to still remain active politically.

(1927 – ) Canadian-born American comedian & actor
Death Places Politics

In Russia a man is called reactionary if he objects to having his property stolen and his wife and children murdered.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Communication Government Places

Nothing can so alienate a voter from the political system as backing a winning candidate.

American comedian & actor
Government Politics

A straw vote only shows which way the hot air blows.

William Sydney Porter (1862 – 1910) American writer
Communication Elections/Voting

Even the police have an unlisted number.

(1908 – 1996) actor & comedian
Government Hollywood Law Things

Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than you.

Characteristics Military Murphy’s Laws

The taxpayer… that's someone who works for the federal government but doesn't have to take the Civil Service examination.

(1911 – 2004) 40th U.S. president & actor
Government Work

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
America Intelligence Language Military Places

Any ship can be a minesweeper… once.

Arms Military Murphy’s Laws War

I don't want to elect anyone stupid enough to want the job.

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist
Elections/Voting Government Intelligence President Stupidity

Judge: Are you trying to show contempt for this court, Mr Smith?

Smith: No, My Lord. I am attempting to conceal it.

(1872 – 1930) British statesman, politician & lawyer
Government Insults

The House of Lords is like a glass of champagne that has stood for five days.

(1883 – 1967) British prime minister & politician
England Government Places

The difference between a whore and a congressman is that a congressman makes more money.

(1927 – 1989) author, essayist & environmentalist
Congress Government Sex

The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Alcohol Congress Government

A promising young man should go into politics so that he can go on promising for the rest of his life.

(1930 – ) American author and billiard player, teacher & commentator
Government Politicians