Subject: Government (Page 34)

Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons!

Arms Conflict Military Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

The best definition of an honest politician is one who… when he is bought, stays bought.

(1927 – 2004) American comedian & actor
Definitions Government Politicians

No plan survives first contact intact.

Military Murphy’s Laws

Lawyers are operators of the toll bridge which anyone in search of justice must pass.

(1939 – ) American financial journalist
Lawyers Occupations

If “con” is the opposite of "pro," then isn’t Congress the opposite of progress?

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Congress Government Language

What's black and white and brown and looks good on a lawyer? … a Doberman.

(1931 – 2001) Canadian author, screenwriter & essayist
Animals Dogs Insults Lawyers

A bureaucrat is a Democrat who holds some office that a Republican wants.

(1877 – 1956) U.S. vice president & politician
Government Politicians

Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than you.

Characteristics Military Murphy’s Laws

Politics is the pursuit of trivial men who, when they succeed at it, become important in the eyes of more trivial men.

(1882 – 1958) drama critic, editor
Government People Politicians

Let the kids pay it – they still owe us rent and gas money.

(1927 – 1997) Am. comedian & satirist notable for mock presidential campaign
Children Government Money

Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Fools Government Intelligence World

My definition of a redundancy is an air bag in a politician's car.

(1931– 2012) American actor, producer & director
Definitions Government Politicians

The only thing a lawyer won’t question is the legitimacy of his mother.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Family Government Law Lawyers Mothers People

If you can keep your head while those around you are losing theirs, you may have misjudged the situation.

Military Murphy’s Laws

We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Age Congress Government Time

The tax collector must love poor people, he's creating so many of them.

(1915 – 1977) columnist, writer & actor
Government Money Poverty Taxes

Only one thing, is impossible for God; to find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Government Law

I think it will be a clash between the political will and the administrative won’t.

(1943 – ) English film director, comedy writer & actor
Government Politics

Republicans elect stupid leaders with brilliant staffs and Democrats produce brilliant presidents with stupid staffs.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Government Politicians President

The art of politics consists in knowing precisely when it is necessary to hit an opponent slightly below the belt.

(1876 – 1967) German statesman
Government Politics

There are two reasons for making an appointment; either there was nobody else; or there was somebody else.

(1902 – 1967) British cabinet secretary
Government