Subject: Government (Page 35)

Every girl dreams, when they grow up, they’re gonna marry a doctor, marry a lawyer; but me, I had to marry the only lawyer in America with a conscience.

(1963 – ) American comedian
Government Husbands Law Lawyers Marriage

The wind doesn't bother me. I'm in the U.S. Senate.

(1923 – ) U.S. senator (Kansas) & presidential candidate
Congress Government

Having your lawyer pay for lunch will be very expensive in the end.

Lawyers Money

Men in high levels of government seldom surf.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Activities Government Men Occupations People Work

Why is it that if you take advantage of a tax break and you’re a corporation, you’re a smart businessman, but if you take advantage of something you need to not be hungry, you’re a moocher?

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Government Taxes

America is still a land of promise, especially during a political campaign.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
America Government Places Politics

In Scotland we have a verdict ‘not proven;’ that means ‘not guilty, but don’t do it again.’

Law Places

If we could just find out who’s in charge, we could kill him.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Government

These days, the only time politicians tell the truth is when they call each other a liar.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Characteristics Honesty Lies Politicians Truth

People ask me what I'd most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday; I tell them, a paternity suit.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Age Law Old

The art of politics consists in knowing precisely when it is necessary to hit an opponent slightly below the belt.

(1876 – 1967) German statesman
Government Politics

Dictatorship: A place where public opinion can’t even be expressed privately.

Definitions Government

Now we are trying to get unemployment to go up, and I think we're going to succeed.

(1911 – 2004) 40th U.S. president & actor
Government Work

Politicians are wedded to the truth, but like many other married couples they sometimes live apart.

(1870 – 1916) British writer
Government Politicians Truth

Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut save you thirty cents?

(1918 – 2007) American humor writer
Government Money Taxes

Judge: A lawyer who once knew a politician.

Definitions Government Law

He may be a son of a bitch, but he’s our son of a bitch.

(1882 – 1945) 32nd U.S. president
Government People

Perhaps we could have a translation, I could not quite follow.

(1894 – 1986) British prime minister
Government

Congress: A strange forum where people get up and speak, nobody listens, and then everyone disagrees at the top of their lungs.

Congress Definitions Government

He’s not technically a lawyer, but he’s got three court cases next week.

Lisa Lampanelli (1961 – ) American stand-up comedian
Law People

Why should we tell kidnappers, murderers, and embezzlers their rights? … if they don’t know their rights, they shouldn’t be in the business.

(1927 – 1997) Am. comedian & satirist notable for mock presidential campaign
Government Law