Subject: Government (Page 43)

About one-fifth of the people are against everything all the time.

Government Murphy’s Laws

Politics is supposed to be the second-oldest profession… and I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.

(1911 – 2004) 40th U.S. president & actor
Government Politics

Democracy means government by discussion, but it is only effective if you can stop people talking.

(1883 – 1967) British prime minister & politician
Democracy Government

The avoidance of taxes is the only intellectual pursuit that carries any reward.

(1883 – 1946) English economist
Government Intelligence Money Taxes

Democracy is being allowed to vote for the candidate you dislike least.

(1972 – ) Irish stand-up comedian, voice over artist & actor
Democracy Government People

It isn't necessary to be an idiot to be a senior officer, but it sure helps.

Military

Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Democracy Government

If you can keep your head while those around you are losing theirs, you may have misjudged the situation.

Military Murphy’s Laws

Now and then an innocent man is sent to the legislature.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Government

The case has been going on for so long that I've forgotten whether I'm really innocent or guilty.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Government Law

When God created Republicans, he gave up on everything else.

(1940 – 1993) composer, guitarist, record producer & film director
Beliefs Government

We started off trying to set up a small anarchist community, but people wouldn't obey the rules.

English author, actor, humorist & playwright
Conflict Government People

Tariff: A scale of taxes on imports, designed to protect the domestic producer against the greed of his consumer.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Taxes

Since a politician never believes what he says, he is quite surprised to be taken at his word.

(1890 – 1970) French president, general & statesman
Characteristics Government Honesty Politicians Truth

I regret to say that we of the FBI are powerless to act in cases of oral-genital intimacy, unless it has in some way obstructed interstate commerce.

(1895 – 1972) American director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation
Government Sex

The worst part about politics is that you're always right and no one ever knows it

Government Politics

The length of time it takes a bill to pass through the legislature is in inverse proportion to the number of lobbying groups favoring it.

Government Law Murphy’s Laws Time

Foot: A politician’s pacifier.

Definitions Politicians

Government does not solve problems; it subsidizes them.

(1911 – 2004) 40th U.S. president & actor
Government Problems

Litigant: A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones.

Definitions Law

Don’t ever be the first, don’t ever be the last and don’t ever volunteer to do anything.

Military Murphy’s Laws