Subject: Insults (Page 3)

Nature played a cruel trick on her by giving her a waxed mustache.

English author, actor, humorist & playwright
Appearance Insults

She resembles the Venus de Milo: she is very old, has no teeth, and has white spots on her yellow skin.

(1797 – 1856) German critic & poet
Appearance Insults

One could not even dignify him with the name of a stuffed shirt; he was simply a hole on the air.

Eric Arthur Blair (1903 – 50) English author & journalist
Communication Insults

Ferrari leads, McLaren second, McLaren second, Jordan third, and Benneton fifth and sixth.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing Insults Misspokements Sports

Robins: I've just written my 87th book.
Barbara Cartland: I've written 145.
Robins: Oh I see, one a year.

(1897 – 1985) British novelist
Age Insults Old

Oh, if I could piss the way he speaks!

(1841 – 1929) French statesman, physician & journalist
Insults Speech

Critics are eunuchs at a gang bang.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Communication Insults People

Mariah the fashion pariah… the queen of catastrophic kitsch.

Richard Blackwell (1922 – 2008) fashion critic, journalist, & designer
Insults

If Gladstone fell into the Thames, that would be a misfortune, and if anybody pulled him out, that, I suppose, would be a calamity.

(1804 – 1881) British prime minister, politician & author
Accidents Insults Problems

He doesn't die his hair – he's just prematurely orange.

(1913 – 2006) 36th U.S. president
Appearance Hair Insults

Woman: I need shoes.

Al: Blacksmith's right around the corner.

(1946 – ) American actor
Insults TV/Movie Quotes

The youthful sparkle in his eyes is caused by his contact lenses, which he keeps highly polished.

(1904 – 1988) English-born American syndicated gossip columnist
Appearance Insults

Her hat is a creation that will never go out of style; it will look ridiculous year after year.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Appearance Clothing Insults

He has committed every crime that does not require courage.

(1804 – 1881) British prime minister, politician & author
Characteristics Crime Insults

They're just jealous because they don't have three wise men and a virgin in the whole organization.

(1941 – ) Mayor of Providence, Rhode Island
Government Insults

A man who so much resembled a Baked Alaska – sweet, warm and gungy on the outside, hard and cold within.

(1963 – ) Irish novelist
Insults

Some people say Birmingham looks great in the summer. I reckon it looks better in the rear view mirror.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Insults Places

[Ulysses is] the work of a queasy undergraduate scratching his pimples.

(1882 – 1941) English novelist, essayist, publisher & feminist
Insults Reading/Writing

English painter & sculptor Frederic Leighton to James McNeill Whistler: My dear Whistler, you leave your pictures in such a sketchy, unfinished state. Why don't you ever finish them?

Whistler’s reply: My dear Leighton, why do you ever begin yours?

(1834 – 1903) American-born, British-based artist
Communication Entertainment Insults

He’s so old his social security number is two digits.

Age Insults Old

Never enter a battle of wits unarmed.

Insults Intelligence