Subject: Insults (Page 38)

Sir, if my wife looked like that, I wouldn't need any help thinking of insults!

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Insults

Madam, you have between your legs an instrument capable of giving pleasure to thousands – and all you can do is scratch it.

(1879 – 1961) English conductor
Entertainment Insults Music

One could drive a schooner through any part of his argument and never scrape against a fact.

(1866 – 1940) academic, businessman & politician
Characteristics Facts Insults Truth

They told me how Mr Gladstone read Homer for fun, which I thought served him right.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Characteristics Insults Reading/Writing

As useless as rubber lips on a woodpecker.

(1941– ) American radio personality
Insults

She probably thinks Sinai is the plural of sinus.

(1942 – ) British politician
Insults

He has the lucidity which is the byproduct of a fundamentally sterile mind.

(1897 – 1960) Welsh labor leader & politician
Insults Intelligence

I've got three words for him: Am. A. Teur.

(1965 – ) film & television actor
Insults

He is your typical smiling, brilliant, back-stabbing, bullshitting southern nut-cutter.

(1922 – 1999) labor union leader, president of the AFL-CIO
Insults

What can you do with a man who looks like a female llama surprised when bathing?

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Insults

Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Insults TV/Movie Quotes

Barbara and I celebrated our 51st wedding anniversary yesterday… we are very happy, but I would be happier if she got a job!

(1926 – 2017) American stand-up comedian & actor
Insults Marriage Self

He is a man suffering from petrified adolescence.

(1897 – 1960) Welsh labor leader & politician
Insults

He looks like King Edward – the potato, not the monarch.

British satirist, comedian, writer, broadcaster and editor
Appearance Insults

To hear Alice Keppel talk about her escape from france, one would think had swum the Channel, with her maid between her teeth.

Insults

He sings like he's throwing up.

(1963 – ) British actor, comedian, television presenter & executive producer
Insults

You've got the brain of a four-year-old boy, and I bet he was glad to get rid of it.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Insults Intelligence

You had to stand in line to hate him.

(1885 – 1966) American actress & gossip columnist
Insults

Few things can be less tempting or dangerous than a Greek woman of the age of thirty.

(1789–1844) British traveller & author
Insults Places

She must use Novocain lipstick.

(1918 – 2004) radio and television comedian & talk show host
Insults

He sounds like he's got a brick dangling from his willy, and a food-mixer making purée of his tonsils.

British music journalist, author & broadcaster
Insults