Subject: Insults (Page 39)

He was either a man of about a hundred and fifty who was rather young for his years, or a man of about a hundred and ten who had been aged by trouble.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Age Insults

Justin Bieber looks like a little lesbian… he’s the daughter Cher wishes she’d had.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Insults

Never insult an alligator until after you have crossed the river.

Communication Insults Murphy’s Laws

He's so fat, he can be his own running mate.

(1925 – 2005) television host
Appearance Body Fat Insults

She must use Novocain lipstick.

(1918 – 2004) radio and television comedian & talk show host
Insults

The ‘g’ is silent… the only thing about her that is.

(1959 – ) English writer & columnist
Communication Insults Speech

It sounds like attention-seeking behavior to me.

(1958 – ) Welsh actor, writer & comedian
Death Insults

I'd rather be a lamppost in Denver than the mayor of Philadelphia.

American professional boxer
Boxing Insults Places Sports

Harpo, she's a lovely person – she deserves a good husband; marry her before she finds one.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Insults Marriage People

Television opened up a whole new field of unemployment for him.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Acting Entertainment Insults Television

Denis Healey Being attacked by him is like being savaged by a dead sheep.

(1917 – ) British politician
Insults

Bambi with testosterone.

(1959 – ) film critic
Insults

He'd make a lovely corpse.

(1812 – 1870) English novelist
Death Insults

She's good, being gone.

(1564 – 1616) English dramatist & poet
Insults

The 100% American is 99% idiot.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
America Insults People

In America, only the successful writer is important, in France all writers are important, in England no writer is important, and in Australia you have to explain what a writer is.

(1919 – 2010 ) England author
Communication Insults Places Reading/Writing

Neither am I.

(1937 – 1995) English satirist, writer & comedian
Books Communication Insults

Germans are flummoxed by humor, the Swiss have no concept of fun, the Spanish think there is nothing at all ridiculous about eating dinner at midnight, and the Italians should never, ever have been let in on the invention of the motor car.

American author
Insults People Places

He's [Frank Sinatra] the kind of guy that when he dies, he's going up to heaven and give God a bad time for making him bald.

(1924 – 2004) American actor
Characteristics Insults

I don’t want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. Now go away, or I shall taunt you a second time.

(1939 – ) English actor, comedian, writer & producer
Insults TV/Movie Quotes

She preserved to the age of fifty-six that contempt for ideas which is normal among boys and girls of fifteen.

(1884 – 1967) American professor, poet & politician
Insults